How to know our priorities?

 How to know our priorities? 

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

In continuation of last week discussion on Time Management, the key action points  that we have discussed were

1. Knowing our core priorities
2. Knowing our current status w.r.t core priorities.  

Now, let us understand how to know our core priorities in a professional context.

How to know our core priorities?

When we are growing up on a career ladder, our core priorities will also change with reference to our position or title.

for example,

when you are a junior executive in finance functions, your priority might be "bills accounting." When you become a finance head in the organization, your priority might be "ensuring the positive cash flow."

So, your position determines your core priorities. Your position demands specific accountability or result or deliverables from you, which determines your priority.

Hence, we must have clarity about our accountability with reference to our position.

For example, if you are the business head of the organization, you are accountable for profit, growth, and ensuring sustaining the business. If you articulate your key accountability, the expected result of your position, you can list down the activities which are priorities to meet your result expectation.

Many of us are mixing up with activities and accountability part together. Eventually, we are happy with the list of activities and being busy. When we are busy with activities, and at the end of the day, when we are not delivering the results as expected, we feel guilt or think that we are not good at time management.

The most critical part in knowing the priorities is defining your accountability or expected deliverables regarding your position. That step will give you clarity on what should be your core priorities.

The second part is knowing where we are with reference to core priorities.

How to find our gap on the current level of time management (Priority management)?

Let me share my personal experience on understanding the gap next week.

Have a great week ahead!

Are we managing time or priorities?

 Are we managing time or priorities? 

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

One of the frequently asked questions in most of my management sessions is "How to manage time?".

The intention behind the question is to learn some proven techniques that can help us manage time. There are many books and resources to guide us with numerous techniques for managing time well. In fact,i had tested the checklist, formats, alarm system to prompt to keep my timing alert. But those efforts are not sustained because managing time is driven by internal motivation than external. We cannot manage the time to go slow or move fast or take a pause.

We need to understand the inner concern or dilemma we are going through when we worry about our time management. Even after doing many activities in a day, we feel guilt that we have not done what we suppose to do. When we do not spend our time on our own priorities, we feel guilty about our way of working. That is a conflict issue of what we want to do and what we do.

When we know our prime priorities, accordingly, we direct our energy and time towards them. In case if the work environment is not conducive for focusing on our priorities, we will make an effort to create an environment.

One of the busiest CEO of the conglomerate mentioned that amidst his busy professional and personal commitments, he ensured that he read a book on avg one per week. How does he find time for that activity? Since he believes that reading books is one of his priorities, he finds time to make it happen. He may probably not claim that he does not have time to watch movies or go to parties as those may not be his priorities. The key is he is thoroughly aware of his prime requirements.

If we know our priorities and spend time on those activities, we need not concern about time management techniques.

The action area would be

First, we need to be aware of our pattern of activities and the time consumption in a day.
Second, we need to know our priorities which will give more happiness or satisfaction at the end of the day.

Once we are aware of it, we can avoid some of the activities, improve our skills, or delegate to others to get our core priorities done and feel satisfied at the end of the day.

Have a productive week ahead!

Atomic Habits -Book Review

 Atomic Habits -Book Review 

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

Recently read the book "Atomic Habits"  as suggested by one of my client's business head.

An atom, even though a small fraction of a larger system, the energy for the large system is derived from atoms. In the same way, in professional or personal life, any big success is achievable only through adopting some of the habits daily.

The author explains the compounding effects of 1% improvements daily, leading to 37 times better in a year.

The author puts that the difference between winner and loser is in efforts or in polishing the process than the setting the goal. Everyone sets the goal either in business or sports, and only a few people succeed. The reason lies in the consistency of practice.

Also the book helps the reader to practice the new habit formation and giving up some bad habits through four step-by-step processes and the explanation of the science behind each approach.

Unlike research books, the author explains the concepts from personal, sports and business which is easily relatable and easy to read.

If you would like to get more perspective on habit formation practices, recommend this book to read.

Given below the link.
 

https://amzn.to/3AbiCSY

Resilience and quality of network

 Resilience and quality of network 

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

 

Recently read an interesting research article, and the insight may be helpful to you. Some people easily overcome any setbacks in life, and some struggle to overcome them, reflecting their resilience power. Resilience is nothing but the ability to bounce back from challenging situations emotionally and physically.

Most of us may be thinking that resilience is something inherent quality within us. However, the research article indicates that people with high resilience power have a good network of people or forums to develop their resilience.

For example, if you have a network of good friends or like-minded people in your professions and whenever you face challenging situations, you may interact with them and get different ideas/views to overcome the problem. That kind of association enables one to look at the situations from a different perspective than those who do not build that network.

The key learning is how we develop our network with worthy or reliable people, which may help us develop the capability to overcome any challenging situations.

When i was reflecting on this key insight,i realized that some of my friends, when they had a challenging situation in their career, they used to approach many people and sought their views (not seeking employment help) on solving the problems and successfully managed the crisis.

Developing a vast network is relatively easy for some people, and it may be difficult for some. However, we can create a quality relationship with a few reliable people who can guide us during a tough time. They could be your spouse, friends, mentors, colleagues, senior people, or any professional forums that can guide you without any bias.

We need to ask ourselves is "Do we have trustworthy, reliable sources or relationships in our life whom we can approach when we have challenges in life?"

If yes, then we are leading a healthful life;

If not, then we need to develop a quality relationship or network now…!

Have a great week ahead.

Key learnings on developing conflict management competency

 Key learnings on developing conflict management competency 

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

As we have discussed the various aspects of developing conflict management competency in a professional environment for the last 12 weeks, let us summarize the key learnings before moving to a new topic.
 

• When you are growing up on a career ladder, one of the key competencies you need to develop is conflict management competency. Competency is all about how you are getting things done from a diverse group of people and at the same time maintaining a cordial relationship.
• The diverse group would be your boss, your customer, your colleagues, or your direct reportees.
• The conflict or difference arises on thought process, values, looking at the problems and solutions methodologies. Sometimes due to misinterpretation of communication and the tone itself.
• The difference arises in the workplace since others come from different backgrounds, look at the problems from different perspectives, have different priorities, and inherent issues like fear of facing challenges, failures, and personal securities. Once you understand the causes of differences, you tend to accept them as part of your professional activities rather than personal differences.
•  We have discussed the three dynamics of conflicts—Power, Goal, and Relationship. The effective way we manage the power, goal, and relationship, we become better in managing the conflicts. Awareness of that combination and its effect determine the right approach to deal with the difference. 
• When you are growing up, your power also goes up. Power means the ability to get things done. Effective people look at power as an opportunity to guide, help, facilitate others when they encounter conflicts.
• When you have a conflict with juniors, you can use a compassionate approach in which you educate, guide, and convince them to get things done and earn respect from others. Alternatively, you can choose a constructive dominant approach when you feel others cannot learn or go against organizational objectives.
• When you have a conflict with equal power, say with your colleagues, you can think of a higher purpose that makes you more powerful than others.
• Generally, effective people listen to others to understand other’s perspectives, give the third dimension to the problem, and try to settle third angle solution, flexible to change the views if it serves the higher or organizational purpose. They take Parent-child, Teacher-student relationship patterns to solve the conflict with anyone.

When we look at our life journey as success or failure, that will have a strong relationship with how we deal with the conflict WITHIN ourselves or WITH OTHERS at some point in time.

That awareness and striving to learn the conflict management competency will help manage any conflict.

The key focus for any manager or leader is to get things done and maintain the emotional balance with self and others.

Let us discuss a new topic next week, and have a great week ahead till then!

How do effective people manage conflicts?

 How do effective people manage conflicts?

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

For the last few weeks, we have discussed conflict management at the workplace and some of the causes/methodologies to deal with direct reportees and colleagues. Now let us summarise some of the approaches effective people adopt to deal the conflicts.


I have observed some of the patterns effective people display when they deal with conflicts. At the end of the conflict, they remain calm and meet the objective of getting things done. 
 

• Taking responsibility
• Listen and perspective-taking
• Put the higher purpose as context
• Try to find the third angle and settle it

 
Taking responsibility:

Taking ownership is one of the mindsets they possess and reflect in their behavior when they encounter conflict. They assume the role of guardian, and they take the responsibility to solve the differences quickly. When they take responsibility for solving the problem, they mainly focus on the issue than on the person.
 
Listen and perspective taking :
 
The conflict arises because of the different viewpoints of others from self. Effective people listen to others and are keen to know where others are coming from. As discussed earlier, when you listen and take the perspective of others, that eventually puts the other person's emotion in a positive state.
 
 
Put the higher purpose as context:
 
When differences arise between two people or teams, the effective leader looks at the problem from the higher purpose. For example, when people argue from their functional perspective, the effective person goes one step above and looks at the situation from an organizational perspective or the customer perspective.

For example, i witnessed a situation when the functional team members were arguing for incurring the freight cost increase due to delivery delay by operations, the business head put the customer as a central point, and the debate ended as service became higher purpose than the cost.
 
Try to find the third angle:
 
When both parties are right from their standpoint, the effective people quickly try to find a solution point where both people accept it as a win-win proposition.
 
You might have observed some other patterns also.

We need awareness of ourselves and others when dealing with the differences, making us an effective leaders in the professional environment.

Have a great week ahead!

How to deal with challenging colleagues?

 How to deal with challenging colleagues?

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

 

In continuation of last week's discussion on managing the person with equal power, one of my friend working as production head has called me and said," I am finding difficult to deal with one of my colleagues who heads quality functions. He expects me to own the problem most of the time, never agrees on any solutions approach. Since he has the final say in delivery decisions, i am not able to work along with him comfortably." 

On listening to some other aspects of the problem, i suggested some solutions approach him, which he may take forward. But this kind of situation happens to most of us, even though the colleagues, counterpart, or partner also has equal power.

In my opinion, the first step would be how do you think of yourself to others sets the direction in dealing with colleagues successfully. 

We have choices of how we look at ourselves with the counterpart. Do we look at our position as equal to others or inferior, or considering the task importance or goals, do we look at ourselves as an overall lead? This feeling comes from the responsibility we assume for the overall organizational goal. When we urge for a higher purpose, that will push us to think beyond our current position. That feeling or thinking itself puts you on a higher level compared to your colleagues.
 
For example, in the above instances, when the person thinks of himself as he is ultimately responsible for overall delivery (which is usually the responsibility of the business head), that responsibility assumption will make him feel he is equal or more powerful than his colleague.
 
When we assume higher responsibility even at the mindset level, that will change our perception about ourselves relative to other counterparts.
 
Most of the time, we are not failing during the conversation or in an argument, but before we initiate the conversation, we lose ourselves with the self-image.
 
You could have observed that some people may be with less experience, age, or relatively less positional title but move across any function or level to make things happen. They put the organizational goal or higher purpose in front of them than any other positional power.

Just relate yourself.

Cooperative approach to deal with equal power

 Cooperative Approach to deal with equal power

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)
 

As discussed, the compassionate and dominant approaches are helpful when you have more power over others in the workplace. However, we may face the difference with another person with equal power and a different goal or priority.
 
A typical example could be your colleagues from different functions. They may have equal power and different goals even though they primarily work for the same organizational objectives.

Another example could be your business partner, who may have different views about the investment priorities or management approach.

In this relationship, neither constructive dominance nor compassion approach will not work, but a cooperative approach will work.
 
In a cooperative approach, we need to adopt perspective-taking, listening to other's concerns, acknowledging others, objectively backing our stand or views, and arriving at some third point solutions.

This approach will end up with win-win situations if anyone proactively manages the conflict considering the big picture of the organization or business goals.

Acknowledging other's views:

One of the qualities of influential people is they listen to other’s views and rephrase what they understood. They accept the diverse opinions of other people and acknowledge them. The benefit would be emotionally satisfying the other’s ego.

For example, if your counterpart or colleague says they can not fulfill your request to complete a task by a specified date as he/she has other priorities to complete and staff is overloaded etc. However you want it urgently, thereby conflict arises.

Here, you listen to their problems patiently (sometimes, complaints !)  and acknowledging his/her issues which may be genuine. When you hear and recognize someone, that gesture puts the person in your comfort zone to work with you than against you. Emotionally, you are looking at other issues from their perspective.
 
Objectively backing your views :
 
When the other person is emotionally comfortable dealing with you, they are in a position to listen to your views. That is when you are stating your position with a logical perspective or with data points.

In the same example, when the person is in listening mode, you state your urgency to complete the task with a specified time with data points, explaining the purpose of the task and how important to you and the organization. That will impact the other person as they are emotionally and logically in line with your views. They are ready to help you or to arrive at some solutions along with you.
 
Arriving at some common ground :
 

In this stage, both are arriving at the solution favoring either one of you or arriving at the third angle solution approach to settle at the middle path.
 
In the above example, either the other person may agree to complete the task per your requirement, or you may arrive at some collaborative approach to make it happen either by providing additional resources or cutting down some of the scope or alternative timeline.
 
The key point is the responsibility of solving the conflict lies with the intelligent manager or the leader who wants to get the things done takes the lead in solving the conflict.

In today’s collaborative working environment, where cross-functional teams are involved in executing the task, one needs to learn to manage conflict through a cooperative approach.
 
Let us discuss some of the common approaches by influential leaders in solving the conflict by next week.

Constructive dominance

 Constructive dominance 

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

Two approaches will work when we have a conflict with the direct reportees or junior colleagues. One is the compassionate approach wherein we take the parent-child relationship, create awareness / provide perspectives, make them understand our views, and finally make the things done.As discussed last week, this approach has some limitations. Another approach is constructive dominance approach .

 
As mentioned, in any differences, we are looking at relative power, relationship and goal.

In the constructive dominance approach, we use the power to get things done when the following situation arises.

• Either prolonged conflicts affect the organizational goal or in situations where direct reportees or junior colleagues are hostile or unmotivated to comply with your reasonable demands.
• The other person is clearly against you even after applying the compassionate approach.
• You need to maintain the relationship to reach your or functional goal.

 
For example,

 look at the incidence in one of the client organizations. There were some quality issues in the product, and the quality head insisted on stopping the machines for conducting experiments. The production in charge was against the experiment as it would affect  his delivery performance.

This conflict was continuing for some time. Whenever the business head used to review quality performance, both functional heads pointed at each other and argued from their standpoint. The conversations turned into personal ego issues than organizational problems.

At some point in time, the business head intervened by making a mandate to fix the timeline and made both people accountable to solve the problem. The conflict was resolved.

Here the business head did not apply compassionate conflict management; instead, he used his power to dominate for solving the differences among the people. That approach is required when the direct reportees are unreasonable and beyond any explanation.

Sometimes, we need to use the power to dictate what we want to achieve when we think that giving reasoning/education will never change another person's behavior. That approach is expected from the person who manages the people.

The drawback in this approach is, sometimes, work will get done as we want, but there is no place for innovation or the free flow of thinking by anyone. You became the owner of the decision and the outcome.
Some people  may get offended as they perceive it as a win-lose deal

However, you must apply this approach when the goal is higher than interpersonal conflict, and you have both the power and responsibility for the result.
 
This approach will work when you have more power than others, but how to manage the conflict when the other person or party has equal power like you?

Let us discuss next week 

Being compassionate to deal with junior colleagues

 Being compassionate to deal with junior colleagues 

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

 

As we discussed on the conflict dynamics, three factors like power, relationship, and goal will determine the approach in any conflict. Also, in an organizational environment, everyone has to face the differences with direct reports, colleagues, and bosses.

Let us discuss some of the practical approaches one can use in each scenario.

Dealing the differences with direct reportees or junior colleagues:

Assume that you are at a managerial level leading people.

In this relationship, you have more power in terms of getting things done, and the relationship is important as it is ongoing interaction. The goal also is shared as their success on the task will impact your performance.

The most effective approaches or choices you have as a manager are

1. Compassionate approach
2. Constructive Dominance approach

In a compassionate approach,

 It would help if you looked at the differences or conflict as the outcome of the other person's ignorance or lack of experience.  You need to look at the relationship as parent-child, teacher-student, supervisor-supervisee relationship than a competitor.

Since you have more power than others, you take responsibility for the problem, listen to the other side, and display constructive behavior like listening and concern for the direct reportees.

The outcome would be creating awareness or giving different perspectives to the person and ultimately making them understand your way of thinking and moving in a single direction.
 
I remember this approach adopted by one of my bosses when i worked as a layout engineer at the beginning of my career. I had prepared different options and defended one choice as it weighed high in all the parameters based on what i learned in the subject. However, my boss had a different view about my conclusion, and i had an argument for my selected option and was not comfortable with the discussions.

He had a choice to dictate one option as per his wish, and i  might have agreed to it as he had positional power. But he chose to listen to my views and educated me on the absence of softer aspects like communication and proximity of people working together in layout design options and convinced me of new options.

Here the key learning for me was his approach of looking at the ignorance of direct reports with compassion, patience to listen to other views, and educating with new insights, getting things done, enhancing the relationship.

The overall outcome of the approach was that he achieved the goal and ensured the relationship. I was also convinced, without any conflict thinking, it enhanced my respect and relationship with him due to new learning. The key is kindness and interest in teaching others with less power.

This approach needs patience and time to educate others when conflict arises.

When won’t this approach work?
 
Any approach will work only in a particular situation. When you use this approach every time, there is a possibility that some people perceive it as a weakness of you as you are soft. Sometimes, people's motives would be different than yours or the organization’s goal, in which this approach may not work.

But the "constructive dominance approach" will help.
 
Let us discuss this approach next week.