How do effective people manage conflicts?

 How do effective people manage conflicts?

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

For the last few weeks, we have discussed conflict management at the workplace and some of the causes/methodologies to deal with direct reportees and colleagues. Now let us summarise some of the approaches effective people adopt to deal the conflicts.


I have observed some of the patterns effective people display when they deal with conflicts. At the end of the conflict, they remain calm and meet the objective of getting things done. 
 

• Taking responsibility
• Listen and perspective-taking
• Put the higher purpose as context
• Try to find the third angle and settle it

 
Taking responsibility:

Taking ownership is one of the mindsets they possess and reflect in their behavior when they encounter conflict. They assume the role of guardian, and they take the responsibility to solve the differences quickly. When they take responsibility for solving the problem, they mainly focus on the issue than on the person.
 
Listen and perspective taking :
 
The conflict arises because of the different viewpoints of others from self. Effective people listen to others and are keen to know where others are coming from. As discussed earlier, when you listen and take the perspective of others, that eventually puts the other person's emotion in a positive state.
 
 
Put the higher purpose as context:
 
When differences arise between two people or teams, the effective leader looks at the problem from the higher purpose. For example, when people argue from their functional perspective, the effective person goes one step above and looks at the situation from an organizational perspective or the customer perspective.

For example, i witnessed a situation when the functional team members were arguing for incurring the freight cost increase due to delivery delay by operations, the business head put the customer as a central point, and the debate ended as service became higher purpose than the cost.
 
Try to find the third angle:
 
When both parties are right from their standpoint, the effective people quickly try to find a solution point where both people accept it as a win-win proposition.
 
You might have observed some other patterns also.

We need awareness of ourselves and others when dealing with the differences, making us an effective leaders in the professional environment.

Have a great week ahead!

How to deal with challenging colleagues?

 How to deal with challenging colleagues?

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

 

In continuation of last week's discussion on managing the person with equal power, one of my friend working as production head has called me and said," I am finding difficult to deal with one of my colleagues who heads quality functions. He expects me to own the problem most of the time, never agrees on any solutions approach. Since he has the final say in delivery decisions, i am not able to work along with him comfortably." 

On listening to some other aspects of the problem, i suggested some solutions approach him, which he may take forward. But this kind of situation happens to most of us, even though the colleagues, counterpart, or partner also has equal power.

In my opinion, the first step would be how do you think of yourself to others sets the direction in dealing with colleagues successfully. 

We have choices of how we look at ourselves with the counterpart. Do we look at our position as equal to others or inferior, or considering the task importance or goals, do we look at ourselves as an overall lead? This feeling comes from the responsibility we assume for the overall organizational goal. When we urge for a higher purpose, that will push us to think beyond our current position. That feeling or thinking itself puts you on a higher level compared to your colleagues.
 
For example, in the above instances, when the person thinks of himself as he is ultimately responsible for overall delivery (which is usually the responsibility of the business head), that responsibility assumption will make him feel he is equal or more powerful than his colleague.
 
When we assume higher responsibility even at the mindset level, that will change our perception about ourselves relative to other counterparts.
 
Most of the time, we are not failing during the conversation or in an argument, but before we initiate the conversation, we lose ourselves with the self-image.
 
You could have observed that some people may be with less experience, age, or relatively less positional title but move across any function or level to make things happen. They put the organizational goal or higher purpose in front of them than any other positional power.

Just relate yourself.

Cooperative approach to deal with equal power

 Cooperative Approach to deal with equal power

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)
 

As discussed, the compassionate and dominant approaches are helpful when you have more power over others in the workplace. However, we may face the difference with another person with equal power and a different goal or priority.
 
A typical example could be your colleagues from different functions. They may have equal power and different goals even though they primarily work for the same organizational objectives.

Another example could be your business partner, who may have different views about the investment priorities or management approach.

In this relationship, neither constructive dominance nor compassion approach will not work, but a cooperative approach will work.
 
In a cooperative approach, we need to adopt perspective-taking, listening to other's concerns, acknowledging others, objectively backing our stand or views, and arriving at some third point solutions.

This approach will end up with win-win situations if anyone proactively manages the conflict considering the big picture of the organization or business goals.

Acknowledging other's views:

One of the qualities of influential people is they listen to other’s views and rephrase what they understood. They accept the diverse opinions of other people and acknowledge them. The benefit would be emotionally satisfying the other’s ego.

For example, if your counterpart or colleague says they can not fulfill your request to complete a task by a specified date as he/she has other priorities to complete and staff is overloaded etc. However you want it urgently, thereby conflict arises.

Here, you listen to their problems patiently (sometimes, complaints !)  and acknowledging his/her issues which may be genuine. When you hear and recognize someone, that gesture puts the person in your comfort zone to work with you than against you. Emotionally, you are looking at other issues from their perspective.
 
Objectively backing your views :
 
When the other person is emotionally comfortable dealing with you, they are in a position to listen to your views. That is when you are stating your position with a logical perspective or with data points.

In the same example, when the person is in listening mode, you state your urgency to complete the task with a specified time with data points, explaining the purpose of the task and how important to you and the organization. That will impact the other person as they are emotionally and logically in line with your views. They are ready to help you or to arrive at some solutions along with you.
 
Arriving at some common ground :
 

In this stage, both are arriving at the solution favoring either one of you or arriving at the third angle solution approach to settle at the middle path.
 
In the above example, either the other person may agree to complete the task per your requirement, or you may arrive at some collaborative approach to make it happen either by providing additional resources or cutting down some of the scope or alternative timeline.
 
The key point is the responsibility of solving the conflict lies with the intelligent manager or the leader who wants to get the things done takes the lead in solving the conflict.

In today’s collaborative working environment, where cross-functional teams are involved in executing the task, one needs to learn to manage conflict through a cooperative approach.
 
Let us discuss some of the common approaches by influential leaders in solving the conflict by next week.