Charisma Vs. Influence

 Charisma Vs. Influence 

(Execution Excellence -"Ability to get things done" Series)

As we discussed the mindset and practices that highly influencing people demonstrate in the workplace to get things done, one of the queries asked by my friend related to influence.

"Some people are born with inherent charisma, and they influence people easily. Is it possible to develop charisma? 

i have also encountered this question myself at the beginning of my career. This question is relevant to the Influence topic and deserves the answer ... I've included my perspective below. 

First, we need clarity between charisma and charm as we interchangeably use both. My friend means that some people are charming by nature and use their charm to influence; Is it possible to develop charisma?
 
Charm is associated with surface-level traits like friendliness, appearance, and appealing first impressions. In contrast, charisma is related to deeper-level attributes like authenticity, quality to inspire others with conduct, trust, and admiration. It is associated with confidence and passion in what one does.

Generally, people with charm readily connect with people at first instance. They are outgoing, expressive, fun lovers, friendly nature, and attract others easily. (sometimes, too much of it lands them in trouble!). 

Most of us believe that the person with the charm will have all the qualities to influence others and be good at getting things done. However, this belief is not true. It is just perception; anyone can become charismatic with effort and conduct.

For example, You are selling yourself in an interview and influence with your charm; you may be appealing instantly. But there is no guarantee that you will get the offer. However, you can get an offer if you influence with your charisma (as quality).

In a professional context, we must focus more on developing charisma to become influencers. When we concern too much about charm, it will affect our self-esteem.
 
The movie "M.S Dhoni's- untold story" beautifully depicts the perception of charm and its impact on others. In the early days of playing in Ranchi tournaments, on the first day of the test match, MSD did well. Then in the evening, MSD & the team met Yuvaraj Singh first time very closely on a basketball ground and internally felt inferior to Yuvaraj's charm or instantly appealing personality.

The next day, the MSD team played against Yuvaraj Singh and badly lost the match. While narrating the game to his friends, MSD said, "We did not get defeated in the cricket ground; we got defeated in the basketball ground itself." That is a very insightful observation by MSD. 

Later on, we all know how things turn around! That is, charisma wins over charm.
 
The key learning is that some people are gifted with charm, which does not mean they are successful influencers. Anyone can develop the skill of charisma with character building and consistent effort in delivering results, through which one can become a charismatic leader.

Charm is a subset of charisma. Natural charm is all about character, and it is all about how confident one is and how others feel good about their presence.

Anyone can develop Charisma regardless of their personality type.

You are highly influential and blessed if you are both charmed and equipped with charisma !!

Have a great week ahead.

How does decision-making improve self-confidence?

 How does decision-making improve self-confidence? 

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

As we are discussing the myths about decision making, one of the myths is that self-confident people are capable of making decisions as they are sure in their thinking process to select the right choices. It may be partially true as naturally, the decision-making is obvious for them.

In reality, not all people are confident in all circumstances. One finding says that 85 % of people suffer from low self-esteem, affecting communication and decision-making capability in the professional environment. How to improve the confidence of those people to make better decisions?

In my personal experience, whenever i  struggle with low confidence in any aspect, i use to make decisions and then act on them in a small way; eventually, it improves my confidence. 

The process goes like this. When we decide to work on any issues, there is always a 50 % probability of success. That probability of success will give positive reinforcement to take slightly higher-level decisions and actions. Inturn that likelihood of success leads to making even more higher-level decisions and actions. In that way, an individual can increase confidence.

For example,

Most of us have fear in public speaking or stage fear to communicate the idea or present. When you decide to crack and plunge into action by addressing a few of your known colleagues or friends, you positively reinforce speaking in a small gathering.

Next time, when you decide to do it in a larger audience of known people, your subconscious mind pushes positively, as you already demonstrated in a small group. So, you can make it relatively easy.

Next time, when you decide to do it in a larger audience of unknown people, your previous decision and success positively push you to do it well.

 By doing so many times, your confidence in public speaking improves as you primarily decide to do it.


Hence, when you make a small series of decisions and actions in any professional challenges or workplace issues, the probability of success makes you a more confident person rather than being a confident person makes you a good decision-maker.
 
As a professional, the more you motivate yourself to take a series of minor decisions and actions, eventually, that will make you more confident in your professional life.
 
Have a great week ahead.

One Habit for a Lifetime

Habit is what you are doing consistently.

For all behind success story, there must be consistency in some of the actions. That is a habit. Even for our own sake of fulfillment, we need to have consistency in some of the practices what we do. The frequency is what you set depending on the action.
 
For example, I know some of my friends have the following “consistent practices or habits” as their life long practices.
 

• Walking for an hour daily for the last 30 years
• Being punctual to any event by being  present 10 min before the event
• Giving Blood donation once in 3 months for the last 20 years
• Calling the people on the birthday and wishes for more than 15 years
• Conducting weekly discourses for more than 20 years
• Waking up before 6 am and doing yoga for more than 40 years

 
When you observe your network, you may also come across many people with good lifetime habits.
 
When you have some good habits, as an individual, more than external monetary success, you feel proud of yourself, and also it enhances your confidence.

One habit for a lifetime, whatever it may be in terms of frequency, easiness, significant to others. However, sticking to one pattern for a lifetime is very much meaningful to you and make a difference to you.

The action is irrespective of your age, profession, choose some habit now, and practice it consistently.

or

if you are practicing some habits, please share as this will be an inspiration for others !!!

Leading Self (Having Faith)

As we discussed, leading self is all about strengthening your inner world.

The fifth and last factor to improve strengthening inner world is “Faith.”

Faith can be defined as complete confidence or belief or trust or conviction about something. That something can be unknown, no proof or evidence or not seen. However, internally, we feel the presence. The moment you think and feel about it, it would give internal strength. That is FAITH.

The faith can be entrusted on God, Nature, your capabilities, your people or your profession. It can be anything which is held on with strong conviction.

For example,

if you strongly believe and trust in your values and it will drive your life, that is faith
If you strongly believe your favorite Guru or God and it will guide you, that is faith
If you strongly believe yourself and your capabilities without any doubt, that is faith

Why do you need faith in something ?:
 
When you have undoubted faith in something, that gives positive feeling inside you and your mind accepts life challenges or face any consequences with clarity and courage.

Faith makes you stronger internally both during normal and tough times.

If you read any successful people, they have faith either on themselves or on their product/services or in the force beyond their imagination, say divine power.

Just answer yourself on which you have faith? How strong is it? Make it stronger and hold it or surrender yourself to that faith, eventually, you become stronger, and your leadership capability will also become stronger!

Leading self (Being grateful for everything)

As we discussed, leading self is all about strengthening your inner world. The second factor to improve strengthening inner world is “ being grateful for everything.” Being grateful means internally feeling gifted or blessed to have this life and being thankful for everything. Generally, we use to crib about the things which we have not yet attained or achieved or what we missed in the past. In this process, we forget the profound truth that up to this moment, many factors are working in favor of us to exist. As life is so uncertain that, we need to imbibe the feeling of being blessed for every aspect that made us to this moment. Those aspects could be your education, work, family, friends, personality and so on. When you feel gifted and being in a grateful state, you gain the following benefits 1. Becoming humble which takes you to the next level of your evolution to divine 2. Sincere desire to make an impact by giving and you start attracting the right things 3. Internally feeling secure and confident. How to be grateful? 1.    Count your blessings, and good things happened in your life 2.    Count your worries or challenges 3.    Compare the blessings vs. challenges, and I am sure everyone will have more blessings than challenges. Having suggested a rational way of being grateful, you need to be more reflective to feel the gratefulness at emotional way. It is possible through awareness and self-introspection. Whatever way you develop your inner world with a feeling of gratefulness, that is ok as long as you are in a grateful state as this improves your LEADERSHIP qualities in the external world.

Leading Self (Improving self-image through actions)

Having discussed the two approaches to improve self-confidence, now let us consider the third approach to improve your self-image and confidence.

Through action and small success:

One of the most powerful methods to improve your self-confidence is to take action by yourself and experience the small victory. That achievement experience will inculcate positive reinforcement in your mind and each cell of your body. The positive reinforcement in your mind improves your self-confidence.

For example,

One of the professional challenges for most of us is public speaking or making a presentation to strangers. Even though you are competent enough in your subject, the fear inside you may make you feel low about yourself or you display low confidence. How to overcome low self-image and improve self-confidence on public speaking?

You need to take action of speaking in a small group and experience it. When you achieve the small success through your actions, your mind registers that event and positive experience. When you are doing it again in a relatively larger audience, your mind pushes you with positive reinforcement of earlier success, and again you will do well. When you repeat those positive experiences many times, your self-image and self-confidence will go up on public speaking.

similarly, whenever you feel low about yourself in any aspects of life, you need to take action and experience it.

Hence, you need to take ACTION and achieve small success to improve your confidence which is more effective than any other methods like a self-help book, observation or listening.

Leading self (Improving self-confidence)

Improving self-image by enhancing the perspectives
 

As discussed last week, there are 3 methods by which we can improve our self-image inturn the self-confidence

1. Self-introspection
2. Enhancing perspectives
3. Through self-actions

Enhancing perspectives:

We are forming beliefs about self and the world through our windows and what we are seeing through it. Typically the windows are our family, friends, working environment and the location we live. When we widen our windows and vision, we see a new world of possibilities.
 
Widening windows are possible through observation, reading and listening to others.

For example,

When we see a person with no financial support, only with an engineering background, values, passion creates world-class  IT Institution, it enhances the perspective within us and gives us confidence on new possibilities.

When we see a man/women hailed from the middle-class family is heading the corporate giants at the international level, it enhances our perspective and gives us possibility thinking within us.

When we see a person, with the right strategy, passion and faith achieves world recognition, and become president or first citizien of a nation, it enhances our perspective and gives confidence within us about new possibilities.

Personally, when I met Onlysuccess founder Mr.Vidyashankar in 2008 and came to know about his childhood village background, an introvert type but with a deep hunger in making a difference to establish a world-class training organization.That moment instilled a confidence in me to start my organization in 2012 to make an impact on others.

The point is, irrespective of your background, if you enhance your perspectives, it will give you new possibilities, in turn, increase your self-confidence and in turn self-image.

Hence, look around and enhance your perspectives!

let us discuss the 3rd method to improve your confidence in next week.