Influence the change where we can

“Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable and remove yourself from the unacceptable”- Denis Wiatley

          Most of us are aware of that change eventually brings growth. However, when we think about change, naturally we expect others to change. The frustration of defeat effort, strain in a relationship starts from the moment when we expect and attempt to make changes where we do not have much influence.

        For example, as a business owner, we expect change in external environment like policy reforms, tax concessions, consistent order flow from customer, periodic price revision etc. Do we have real influence on those areas? Instead, we have more influence on the internal environment wherein we can organize ourselves with lean cost structure, flexible system to cope with uncertainties, dynamic team with single-minded focus etc. Channelizing our effort where we have more influence will bring competitive advantage rather than spending energy where we do not have much influence.

       Recently I read  about an Indian CEO ‘s  case study on how he  consistently made a profit  for more than 8 years .During the recession period also, while his competitions were reacting with a price cut to manage the adverse environment, he delivered  healthy profitability. Clearly, his thought process was on “influencing the change where he had control” and his proactive approach   on cost, line up of new products, development of winning team culture in the organization made his organization to manage the tough times.


      Similarly, on individual front, when we attempt to bring change in others like colleagues, spouse, children, and relatives etc., most of the time, we end up with disappointment or frustration. Instead, change our mindset on acceptance, being flexible etc., which is always in our influence of change!

Why do people succeed?

Interesting short video on why people succeed .It is based on 7 years research & 500 interviews by Richard St.John ,a self-described average guy who found success doing what he loved. He distills the lessons of success into 8 words and 3 minutes video.

Hope you find it useful ..

the link is given below

  https://goo.gl/E2XfFS

Why do we fight in meetings?

     In  a professional environment, meetings are a regular part of the day to day routines. A study indicates that 55 % of the meeting ends without any agreement and action plan. Sometimes, the meeting's discussion leads into emotional outburst or a frustration  of inconclusiveness. The presence of mature leader  with very good facilitation skill able to conduct the meeting  without fighting or emotional outburst.

     What could be the reason for fighting in our workplace, particularly in meetings? Recently  came across an article in HBR on this subject and  would like to add my perspectives  on the root cause and smart leader’s solutions approach to the problem.

     Even though we may say the cause for the fight may be time sensitive targets, resource issues like money, material, manpower etc.Those are common in any organizations  and at  surface level, they seem to be the  root cause of fighting, but the real root cause resides at human factors and this needs to be dealt with human psychology perspective.

The major causes from human perspective are

1.Insecurity feeling
2.The inclination to take control  or power

Insecurity feeling:

Somebody in the forum feels insecure about themselves. They feel that they are exposed to their level of knowledge or  skill sets  or  the way the dealing the issues in the past or uncertainty about the proposed changes, etc.To overcome this insecurity feeling or  manage the situation, they use to get into arguments instead of discussing, get  into diversion of discussion agenda  instead of straight dialogue and emotionally step into  fighting mode with verbal attack. 

The inclination to take control or power:

Somebody in the forum inclines towards to take control or power of the situation or workplace. Taking power is nothing wrong as long as it is organizational centered rather than self-centered or egocentric. They get into arguments to prove their point, dictate others instead of listening, and finally get into fighting mode if they feel unable to convince or control the forum.

Solutions approach :

Both are acceptable from a human perspective as we are not perfect in all aspects and this is quite natural. This awareness is required for leaders or facilitators .With this awareness only, a few matured leaders take the following approach to deal with the human causes

1. Understanding the individual or team’s strength / weakness 

2. Good at diverting the personal level clashes to offline meeting, even if requires, personally involved to sort it out in the offline

3. The mindset of “Move forward" given the fact of strength and weakness, always propose third dimension to the problem

The matured person in the forum makes a difference in the quality of meetings.Getting that maturity may be difficult for all,but possible with just awareness of self and others .

Your belief is important for success

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.” ― Henry Ford

 What do you think the prime reason for you to learn to drive a two-wheeler or four wheeler? You may answer that need, desire, affordability, skills, etc., But the prime reason for the achievement is that you believed that you could drive. That belief only brought all other resources to make it happened.

          Let us refer any success stories in business, sports, media, politics  or any historical events, we may realize that underlying reason for the success is that someone believed that it could be possible. For example, Mahatma Gandhi strongly believed that through Ahimsa, he would bring freedom even though he did not have strengths and resources at an early stage. Eventually momentum gained and the rest is history. The reason is that he strongly believed he could.
Similarly, in your business or even professional life, your belief about success or growth is more important rather than anything else. Today you may not have sufficient resources, knowledge, skill sets, or strategy to reach the desired state. Nevertheless, your strong belief will drive you towards attracting the desired actions.

          It is said that anything happens twice, once in our mind and then in reality. If you strongly believe that you can turn around your business, you will. If you strongly believe that you can be extraordinary performer in your job, you will. If you strongly believe you can be a role model to your child or to your team, you will. Everything begins with your mindset or belief. 

         Relook your beliefs about your quality of performance, quality of relationship, quality of leadership and expand your mindset, you are going closer to new possibilities.

Why should I develop my team?

In one of my recent management seminars to senior leadership team, one participant asked the following question, which I think, is powerful and thought provoking.

 He questioned, “Why should I develop my  team  by teaching all my  years of learnings and spending    time to guide them? If I equip them, will not be a threat to my position?”.

My response to this is as follows

1.Assume that you are not developing your  team and not preparing any  successor for you. When management  considers you for elevation or  different growth  opportunities, they think twice about existing  positions as there is no right successor. Management  may want to keep you in the same position till they find an alternative. Who will be the loser?

2.Assume that if you are not  developing your team, you will continue to do the same job forever and how will you equip yourself for new learning’s and new growth?

3.In today’s scenario, real talent will find its own way. If you are  not  taking care of your people development and growth, eventually  your smart team member  find his own way to grow  either in your existing organization or in the new organization. You will be just witnessing their growth.

4.By law of nature, you will grow only by helping others to grow. In the short term,  you may feel, you are not getting what you deserve, but in the long term, your growth depends on  winning mindset, accepting the change, helping others, seeing the big opportunities in the world!!.

Hence, in all dimensions, as a leader of your team, you should develop your team.

Would like to hear your perspective on this question!!

Dealing with setbacks

       In business or professional environment or in sports, when something goes wrong, the most affected person will be those who are headed the business or organization or function or team . Simply, the captain of the team. The challenge for the captain is to bring back the confidence of all stakeholders through quick actions and more than that managing self emotionally to overcome the setback.
       When we go through the successful peoples life stories, some common patterns emerge in their thought process and approach in dealing with setbacks

1.They use to feel gifted to lead a team either as captain or as owner of the business. They see the position as a responsibility. They internally feel and believe that if they are blessed with such privilege, they will also be blessed with to overcome any setback. It is more about taking the setback as  part of the divine play to make him strong

2.They strongly believe that failures are acceptable. This reflection protects them from self –sabotaging and think a way forward 

3.They deeply spend time with themselves to introspect the causes and mistakes they did. They  critically evaluate the assumptions, decision making process, management style  behaviors etc.  

4.They are quick to come out with an alternate plan and put into action

5.Single minded focus on execution till seeing the result 


It is not a problem falling down. How quickly we bounce back and strong reveal our true inherent strength.

Relooking at problems

     A rich man had many domestic related problems. To get solutions to his problems, he approached a saint and prayed for relief from his problems. The saint was quietly listening to the person‘s problem. The saint asked him to go out and pick up a pebble and he did so. The saint asked him to keep the pebble closer to eyes and look at the things around him. The seeker did so and replied he could not see anything else in his surroundings since the pebble obstructed everything. The saint had asked the seeker  to keep the pebble away from his eye and look again. Now the seeker  replied that he could able to see the pebble as well as other objects in the environment.

    The saint responded to the seeker, “Your problems are also like pebbles. When you look the problem very close and thinking on the same all the time, you could not see other good things in life. When you keep the problem away from you and look at the problem at different perspective, you can solve  problem as well as you can enjoy other things as well".

    In our life span, we may come across the problems in every moment, which may be tiny, insignificant and time specific. It depends on how we are looking at from a different perspective. If we introspect, most of the problems, we magnify as big and create panic within ourself. Just think about  a problem which you faced a year ago and how you responded to it and  realize the relevance or significance of that problem today.

It just requires  awareness on problems as they are part of life and how we look at problems makes a difference to our surroundings and us.