Being compassionate to deal with junior colleagues

 Being compassionate to deal with junior colleagues 

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

 

As we discussed on the conflict dynamics, three factors like power, relationship, and goal will determine the approach in any conflict. Also, in an organizational environment, everyone has to face the differences with direct reports, colleagues, and bosses.

Let us discuss some of the practical approaches one can use in each scenario.

Dealing the differences with direct reportees or junior colleagues:

Assume that you are at a managerial level leading people.

In this relationship, you have more power in terms of getting things done, and the relationship is important as it is ongoing interaction. The goal also is shared as their success on the task will impact your performance.

The most effective approaches or choices you have as a manager are

1. Compassionate approach
2. Constructive Dominance approach

In a compassionate approach,

 It would help if you looked at the differences or conflict as the outcome of the other person's ignorance or lack of experience.  You need to look at the relationship as parent-child, teacher-student, supervisor-supervisee relationship than a competitor.

Since you have more power than others, you take responsibility for the problem, listen to the other side, and display constructive behavior like listening and concern for the direct reportees.

The outcome would be creating awareness or giving different perspectives to the person and ultimately making them understand your way of thinking and moving in a single direction.
 
I remember this approach adopted by one of my bosses when i worked as a layout engineer at the beginning of my career. I had prepared different options and defended one choice as it weighed high in all the parameters based on what i learned in the subject. However, my boss had a different view about my conclusion, and i had an argument for my selected option and was not comfortable with the discussions.

He had a choice to dictate one option as per his wish, and i  might have agreed to it as he had positional power. But he chose to listen to my views and educated me on the absence of softer aspects like communication and proximity of people working together in layout design options and convinced me of new options.

Here the key learning for me was his approach of looking at the ignorance of direct reports with compassion, patience to listen to other views, and educating with new insights, getting things done, enhancing the relationship.

The overall outcome of the approach was that he achieved the goal and ensured the relationship. I was also convinced, without any conflict thinking, it enhanced my respect and relationship with him due to new learning. The key is kindness and interest in teaching others with less power.

This approach needs patience and time to educate others when conflict arises.

When won’t this approach work?
 
Any approach will work only in a particular situation. When you use this approach every time, there is a possibility that some people perceive it as a weakness of you as you are soft. Sometimes, people's motives would be different than yours or the organization’s goal, in which this approach may not work.

But the "constructive dominance approach" will help.
 
Let us discuss this approach next week.
 

Understanding Conflict situations

 Understanding Conflict situations 

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)
 

As we discuss conflict dynamics and an effective way of managing conflicts at the workplace, let us understand the different elements that lead to various conflict situations. The awareness of different conflict situations will help adopt different approaches to make win-win solutions from the differences.
 

 
 
Goal:
 
The requirements or priorities may be different between people. For example, as a manager, you want to fix a problem with a quick-fix solution, whereas your junior colleagues would like to solve it in a structured way, which may take time. Even though you are in the same function, the approach to the problem leads to differences between two people.
Sometimes, the goal itself would be different. For example, your finance head wants to reduce the inventory to reduce cost, and your production head intends to increase it for a better service level.
So, the priority for each people differs, which leads to differences. More accurately, you pinpoint the priority differences and align the focus will help you to manage the conflict well.

It would help if you had a different approach and skillset to manage the conflict.
 
Relationship:

As discussed earlier, any significant differences leave a scar on the relationship; that is why people do not like to get into conflict most of the time. Some relationships are essential for our well-being and would like to continue forever. Some of the relationships are not that important, and we may be ready to forego.

Being aware of the relationship aspects will help you to improve your tone, communication style in managing the conflict.

Power:

In conflict management, the perceived or actual power plays a significant role in managing the conflict well. The power is nothing but the ability to get things done. In any conflict situation, how you are placed among others is an essential criterion to choose your approach.

For example,

when you are dealing with your junior colleagues, you have more power. You can manage any differences relatively well with your experiences, share perspectives with the right intention, and so on.

Suppose you are the functional head and have differences with your counterpart or colleagues from different functions. In that case, you need another skill set to manage the conflict because the perceived power is equal among you and your colleague.

You may have differences with your boss or your customer; you need different approaches to manage the conflict as the perceived power is less.

 
The key point is that we need to be aware of which part we need to address in the conflict, whether goal differences, dealing with different powers, or maintaining the relationship or the combination of all. That forms a conflict situation, and each situation calls for a different approach.
 
That awareness will help you to choose suitable approaches to deal with the differences.

The ultimate objective of conflict management is to get things done and maintain the emotional balance among the stakeholders.
 
Let us look at some of the practical approaches to deal with the differences in the coming weeks.
 
 
 

How do you look at Power to deal with conflict?

 How do you look at Power to deal with conflict? 

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

 

As we discuss the dynamics of conflict, the perception of power plays a significant role in dealing with the differences in the workplace. The meaning of Power or positional status is different for different people. In an organizational context, the straight definition of power is the ability to get things done.
 
One of the studies found that the relevance of power as perceived by self will significantly impact how one deals with conflict or differences in the workplace.

One may look at positional power as Fixed Pie or Abundance.

From a fixed pie perspective,

we believe that power is limited; once shared, we get less.

We think that by delegating the authority to someone, we lose control of others. This mindset will have a significant role in how we deal with conflict.

For example,
Someone at the colleague level suggests a good idea to improve the business performance. Even though we also think the idea is worthy of considering, we tend to defend and initiate the differences. We internally believe that we would be losing control or power by openly accepting the other's view immediately. In that way, we get into differences and end with either accepting or rejecting. However, we leave the scar of differences. ( debating is not a problem, but how we initiate and dealing the debate is important in a professional setup)

From an abundance perspective,

Alternatively, some people look at positional power as an abundance of resources. In this perspective, they believe that delegating authority to someone empowers. They believe that they can do more by collaborating with others. They widely accept the different views and are good at arriving at a consensus even when there are differences.

We might have observed some leaders move around friendly, mingle with anyone, and are good at getting things done. Even when the differences arise, they arrive at the consensus quickly as the mindset towards power drives them to settle things without the impression of personality differences.

The point is our perception of our power will have a significant role in initiating or managing the differences through our behaviors.
 
Changing the mindset on the perception of power may not happen immediately for all. Still, the awareness of our perception about the power and its significance on conflict management helps to deal with a collaborative approach to get a win-win situation than a competitive approach.

Understanding conflict dynamics

 Understanding conflict dynamics

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)
 

As we have discussed the importance of developing conflict management competency to get things done and maintain the relationship with others in a professional setup, let us understand the dynamics of conflict. This awareness will help us to choose the right mindset before, during, after conflict moments and also allow us to choose the right approach or strategy.

1) Not all conflicts are negative consequences

The moment we think about conflict, we associate it with negative emotions. Not necessarily; all the differences are negative. Some disputes will end up with improved performance and relationships.

2) Conflict happens where we have more interdependent relationships 
 
Generally, we do not bother much about the differences with whom we interact occasionally. For example, conflict with a potential customer on the solutions approach, and we walk away without much regret.

Whereas we do get disturbed about the differences that arise with a person with whom we frequently interact—for example, conflict with existing customers or with partners or colleagues on the service quality. There, we struggle to balance between performance and relationship.

When we are aware of the need for balancing with more dependant networks, that will enhance our responsibility in handling the differences with the proper mindset and methods.

3) Being aware of Feelings when dealing with the differences

Most likely, we have feelings around
 
a) How do I feel about the outcome
b) How do i feel about me 
c) how do i feel about the proceedings
d) how do i feel about the relationship with others

When you are mindful of those feelings at that moment, either you can influence the proceedings or feel good about yourself, or you can treat others respectfully during arguments and be empathetic about others or sure about your expectation.

4) Conflict and Power :
 
Differences arise mainly due to POWER in an organizational setup. Power means the ability to get things done. The perception of power with relating to others makes a difference in the way we manage conflicts.



 
Let us discuss some of the interesting aspects of Power next week.

Developing Conflict Management Competency

 Developing Conflict Management Competency 

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

As we discuss the People Management Skill @ workplace, one of the potential areas for competency development for managers and leaders is managing the conflict.

 
What is meant by Conflict?
 
One of the definitions says, “Any situation in which people have incompatible interests, views, goals, principles or feelings.”

By any definition, conflict means DIFFERENCES.

Differences could be on the values, principles, focus areas, means of achieving something, and interest.

Whatever the differences, the underlying factor in any difference is EMOTIONAL baggage like fear of losing the relationship, fear of rejection, losing control, perceived loss of respect, feeling small or low. You can name the destructive emotions that will exist when dealing with the conflict situation depending on the context and the person dealt with.

That is why most of us do not like to be in a conflict situation, as we inherently avoid the pain of handling the emotions during the conflict situation.

However, as a leader or manager, we cannot escape the conflict moments in day-to-day activity. We have conflicts that range from slight to immense magnitude of decision-making in our professional environment.

For example,
 
Can we have a review meeting on Monday morning or Saturday evening?
Should we give priority to payables or receivables?
Should we give importance to cost or customer service? 
Should we focus on GROWTH or PROFITABILITY?
Should I do the task or delegate it to someone?
 
The list may go on…
 
Why do we need to develop the competency?
 
We manage some conflicts efficiently and are stuck in complex conflicts that strain the relationship and work performance. We may end up with regret or guilt.
 
Somewhere i read that when we look at our life journey as success or failure, that will have a strong relationship with how we dealt with the conflict WITHIN ourselves or WITH OTHERS at some point in time. That may be true, and that is the consequence of conflict management.
 
Hence, the competency of conflict management is essential for managers and leaders, and let us discuss some of the insights next week  on 
 
Dynamics of conflict
How do we respond to conflict?
How to apply some of the conflict management techniques?
 
 Please recollect and share the recent conflict you encounter and the emotions you have undergone.

Beyond Criticism

 Beyond Criticism 

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

As we discuss the topic of "People Skill at the workplace," let us discuss some of the proven processes to apply when dealing with people.
 
Last week, we discussed a mature process of criticizing by "beginning your criticism with praise".

I requote the example for quick recall,

Your team presents you with a proposal for a new initiative, and you find that it lacks data, analysis, and proper justification. Instead of scrapping the recommendation by stating it as wasting of time, you can express, “Hi, the intent of new idea and thought process is good, but nowhere the proposal justifies the need for it. The proposal is substandard in its find need to work further on it.”
 
 
Compared to bluntly criticizing and hurting others, the method of "beginning criticism with praising"  seems to be a better option to some extent. However, there is scope for further improvement.

Do you think that smart and sensitive people would not recognize your sugar-coated way of criticism? People would be happy with your praise till they hear the word “BUT". When people hear the second part of the statement, they become resentful or feel low. Then they may even doubt the genuine of your praise.

I want to indicate that this method of beginning your criticism with praise would not work for smart and sensitive people. If you want to help them realize their mistakes or overcome some of the behaviors, you need to go one step beyond criticism.

The steps beyond criticism are

1) Encourage them and give a feeling that their mistakes can be correctable
2) Show them or demonstrate to them what needs to be done

In the above example,

In addition to the opinion, you can suggest or guide them on what needs to be modified in the proposal. In that way, you demonstrate genuine care for people’s mistakes or behavior, and you are part of them. That will make people take the intention of criticism in the real spirit.

To sum up,
 

• Criticize gently by beginning the criticism with praise
• Encourage or give a feeling that they can correct the mistakes 
• Go beyond by guiding them or demonstrating them.

 When you want to persuade people to get things done, you need to practice an effective way of criticizing others when it is really required. Leaders are expected to be a facilitator than a commander in today's professional environment.

Are you criticizing performance or people?

 Are you criticizing performance or people? 

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

As we discuss the topic of "People Skill at the workplace," let us discuss some of the proven processes to apply when dealing with people.
 

One of the typical moments we come across in our day-to-day professional life is giving our opinion to someone on his/ her performance or task. In this process, our intention is most of the time to correct the behavior but unfortunately ended up with criticism. We may be harsh and straight in our views. The strange part is others may not realize the intention and likely perceive it as criticism.

The side effects of criticism would be resentment, defensive, argument, and getting hurt.

As leaders or managers, we always have a dilemma on our communication style, whether we are giving constructive feedback or blunt criticism.

When you observe effective people, they never hesitate to give feedback when they see a sub-standard performance, but they never make it as criticism. They are aware of the fact that any perceived criticism will not solve the problem. They use the simple technique of “Begin criticism with praise.”
 
For example,

Your team presents a proposal for a new initiative, and you find that it lacks data, analysis, and proper justification. Instead of scrapping the proposal by stating it as wasting of time, you can express, “Hi, the intent of new idea and thought process is good, but nowhere the proposal justifies the need for it. The proposal is substandard, and the team needs to work further on it.”
 
In the above example, you are criticizing the performance and not the individual. You begin with praising the people‘s ideas and attacking the substandard of the report or performance only. In this way of response, likely no one will get hurt, and also others would take the message from the right perspective.
 
The point is that we cannot avoid giving feedback in a professional environment. However, we need to ensure the feedback should not be taken as criticism, which hurts the people and sometimes leads to defensive and argument. One effective way of dealing with low performance is to begin your criticism with praise.

This process needs awareness of our communication style when dealing with people. Just try it next time.

Let us discuss some more aspects of criticizing next week.

Power of Edifying others

 Power of Edifying others

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

As we discuss the topic of "People Skill at the workplace," let us discuss some insights on improving people's skill management techniques.
 
For the last few weeks, we have discussed some of the cause and effect of human emotions like pain vs. pleasure, recognizing, appreciation, people's reasons for their actions, beliefs behind the behavior, etc.
 
Now let us discuss some of the proven processes to apply when dealing with people. One such process is “EDIFYING.”

The meaning of Edifying is to build.

“If you edify a person for some qualities,” means you build a person for those qualities. You may be building the quality himself/herself and the minds of other people as well.

Edify a person, to others and themselves, even for the things you wish they would do. They'll soon begin to "believe in the qualities " and start adopting the traits and behaviors for which they are being edified.

For example,

Your friend  praised you and said, “you are very punctual for every occasion and straightforward in expressing your views.” This expression is something your friend edifies you (build) for those positive qualities.
Eventually, you behave up to, at least to friend's expectation of being punctual and straightforward as much as possible. Indirectly you strive to be consistent on those behaviors for which you have been edified.
 
It happened to me also in my school days, even though I did not know the meaning of edifying. Whenever i was promoted to the next class, the class teacher informed the next standard class teacher that i was a brilliant student. This used to happen every year and to maintain that “Build-up”! i  was striving hard to be a “ so-called" brilliant student in academics ( fortunately or unfortunately, i have never been excelling other than academics.I wish someone edified for other talents).

You can relate in your life that someone introduced you to the third person with some buildup; subsequently, the third person might have treated you according to what he was briefed.

That is the power of edifying as it emerges from the deep emotion of human beings that we want to be notable and recognized for something. We strive to meet the expectation.

In a professional environment, this is one of the powerful processes every leader can adopt by identifying positive qualities in each people and making the person aware of  (as 1-1 basis) or in front of others. That edifying process will make the person or make others expect the behavior from the person.

When you expand this concept, you can edify your team and your industry as well. Because what you expect comes to you.

People do for their reasons.

 People do for their reasons. 

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

 

As we discuss the topic of "People Skill at the workplace," let us discuss some insights on improving people's skill management techniques.
 
Let us understand one more cause and effect of people's emotions.

Many of us might have come across a situation where colleagues or junior colleagues agreed to do some tasks when we said, but never did it as per commitment or done with after many followups or completed with half-heartedly.

Some managers use to complain that people are not doing the task as they want them to do.

“The reason is that people are doing the things for their reasons, not for your reasons.”

The only reason for others to do is “THEY WANT TO DO."

Many times, our wants (reasons) and other wants (reason) is different. When there is a conflict of interest, things will not happen as we expect.

We can bridge the gap only through a trusted relationship, feedback, and in turn, positively influencing.

Some time back, i have experienced this conflict with one of my clients. I wanted them to prepare a macrolevel plan for an important project. They seem to be understood the context, importance and agreed to do so. But things got delayed, and i realized that my want(reasons) and their want (reason) are not matching.
My reason for the macro-level plan was to judge the potential quickly, and their reason was to arrive at the plan they should have more data, accuracy, availability of time, and so on. Because of many if's and buts, they did not want to initiate the task.

On realising the gap, i worked with them further to brief the benefits of quick overview and also clarified some of the ambiguities. Then finally things were done.

My key  realizations are 

Generally, people want to do as the intention is right, but other issues like doubt, lack of clarity, fear pulls them from doing it.
 
As leaders/managers, we need to establish the compelling need for completing the task to others. That can be done by building trust in what we say and how we say. It is mainly about bringing more clarity on the intention and transferring the same emotional aspect to others. Let us discuss the various methods in the coming weeks.

We need to clarify whether others have understood our wants/reasons. Most of the time, the feedback aspect we forget as we generally tend to say/hear, what we want to say/ hear, other things we use to filter or ignore it. We miss seeing things from other’s perspectives.
 
The key learning is that people are motivated to do things only when aligned with WHAT they WANT TO DO. Relating that WANT and bringing the motivation to do it through interpersonal and communication skills is essential for any leaders/ managers in getting things done.

Let us discuss some other people's skills next week.

Stay safe till then!
 

What kind of emotional experience do others get from you?

 What kind of emotional experience do others get from you? 

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

 

 As we discuss the topic of "People Skill at the workplace," let us discuss some insights on improving people's skill management techniques.
 
Before getting into the techniques, let us understand some of the principles of human emotions.

The ultimate purpose of people skills is to get things done and maintain a high quality of relationships.

Lesson 2: 
 
By nature, as human beings, we are always keen on either maximizing pleasure or minimizing pain in any actions and interactions with others.
 
Pleasure includes the feeling of pride, happiness, enthusiasm, fun, respect, joy, learning new things, and any other positive emotions.

Pain includes guilty, sadness, embarrassment, shame, feeling inferior, and any other non-positive emotions.

We always try to maximize pleasure and avoid pain.

For example,

At a personal level, when we take a task, we would like to complete it to get the most satisfaction from it, and we do not want it to get incomplete and then get the feeling of regret. For instance, when we make mistakes, we tend to explain as our mind does not accept the pain of realizing our incapability of not making things right. To avoid emotional pain, we justify with logic. That is the nature of us.

Similarly, at an interpersonal level, people are looking for gaining positive emotional experience from the work (like pride, appreciation, empowerment, learning something new) rather than non-positive experience from the work (like getting blamed, frustrated, feeling low, etc.).

To sum up, either at a self-level or an interpersonal level, everyone desires to maximize pleasure, minimize pain, or even avoid the pain.

If we want to improve people management skills, we need to remember this principle.

Also, we need to ask ourselves is, what kind of emotional experience are we giving to the people when they interact or work with us?

Are we giving others the most positive emotional experience, like respect, making others feel good, secure, comfortable to express, or another way?

When we enhance the positive emotional experience of others, we strengthen our people skills, that is, getting things done and improving the quality of relationships.
 
Let us learn some more principles next week.

Stay safe till then!

How our belief system affects people's skills?

 How our belief system affects people's skills?

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

 

As we discuss the topic of "People Skill at the workplace," let us discuss some insights on improving people's skill management techniques.
 
Before getting into the techniques, let us understand the cause and effect of our beliefs on people skills.

The ultimate purpose of people skills is to get things done and maintain a high quality of relationships.
 
Lesson 1: How our belief systems or assumptions affects the people skill?
 
The belief system is nothing but what we believe as truth or simply our assumptions. This belief or assumption plays a significant role in getting things done and maintaining relationships with others.

For example,

As a manager or the business head, you are supposed to send the quotation for an inquiry, and you are delegating the task to your junior colleague by stating that the task is URGENT.
 
Even after two days, you are not getting the tasks done by your colleague, and you call him/ her and get into an argument, and finally, somehow task is completed.

Here only your belief or assumptions and your junior colleagues’ beliefs or assumptions work against both.

When you refer URGENT, say, for example, you assume that TODAY is urgent, whereas your junior colleagues believe that TOMORROW is urgent. Why is there a difference in assumption? Because both are coming from different experiences and backgrounds and inturn the assumptions or beliefs are also different. Both look at things from their angle based on their BELIEF SYSTEM.
 
Naturally, when there is a difference in assumptions or beliefs, there is a high chance of not getting things done on time, or there may be a strain in the relationship.
 
When you understand this lesson, you may change your communication by stating when you want the quote, say by stating today evening at 4 pm.
 
The point is that we need to ensure the following when we assign the task to others.

• Clarify whether our assumptions and others' assumptions are the same or not?
• What questions do we need to ask others to ensure they are in the same assumptions as ours?
• What information do we need to give to avoid the conflict of assumptions or beliefs?

When we know the difference exists in ASSUMPTIONS OR BELIEFS in each individual, we can change our communication practices! That will help to improve our people skills.

Let us discuss other lessons next week.

Stay safe till then!

Developing People Management Skill

 Developing People Management Skill 

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)
 

As you recall that when we initiated this series on managing emotions for personal and professional growth, we discussed broadly three parts of emotional intelligence

1. Managing self
2. Achievement orientation
3. Managing others

Having discussed the first two parts, let us discuss some of the insights related to Managing Others.

In a professional or organizational context, "managing others" means managing the people to balance both the result and the relationship. The people could be your boss, colleagues, and your junior colleagues.

Some of the questions or dilemma most of the business head and manager  have 

 “How to keep the people motivated to get most despite the challenges and uncertainties”?

"Am I a good leader or manager?"
 
"Am I focussing more on task and compromising soft aspects or more lenient on people and losing focus on the task?"

"Am I balancing task/ result and people/ relationship well?"
 
For all the questions above, the answer lies in our ability to manage emotions regarding people management. People management skill is all about that ability.

Why is people management skill important?

We might have come across some very competent managers in technical or functional expertise but still struggling to cope with relating people and relationship management. Their career growth also slows after some time.

Even with moderate technical or functional expertise, some people are pretty successful in achievement by leveraging people around them. They are liked by all and perceived by others as influencers.

When you are moving up in career ladder, people's skills play a significant role along with functional expertise.
 
Where the gap exists?

The gap is mainly on managing emotions when dealing with people. It is the ability to relate with the people, motivate, tap the potential, manage conflicts, solve complex problems, and influence anyone beyond the functional boundaries.

                                       
 
Let us discuss those aspects in the coming weeks and solicit your personal experiences or challenges on people management.

Stay safe until then!

How to be positive in a non-conducive workplace environment?

 How to be positive in a non-conducive workplace environment? 

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

 

In response to our last week's discussion on "Creating a conducive workplace environment for achievement orientation," one of the queries asked was " When the workplace environment is not conducive for achievement, how can we perform?"

As said, creating a conducive environment for achievement orientation is the primary responsibility of the leaders in the workplace. In the absence of it, it is challenging to perform and even manage the survival itself a challenge for most people. However, depends on our positions and the level of influential skill, anyone can initiate or bring some level of conduciveness for achievement orientation.

The answer could vary from person to person as it is purely from the perspective of how we wired our thought process towards work and self in the workplace.

As I fortunate to work with some bosses/colleagues who turnaround the toxic environment into a high-performance workplace. I observed some of the patterns or qualities they demonstrated. That may be the basis for reflecting your management style.
 
They focus more on their job and the contribution than to whom they are working for. They believe in the hard work and continue to strive for DOING. They believe that they stand out through their contribution.

They always incline to positively impact others through their behaviors, communication process or adding value to others whenever an opportunity arises.

They accept the situation and try to make a difference through their personal skill rather than blaming complaining about someone or past decisions.

They leverage the personal skill more than the position that makes them go beyond their boundary or levels to make things happen.

When they do it consistently, the negative bias people also turned to listen to them eventually.

I have been with some people who have turnaround the workplace environment from firefighting, blaming, excuse culture to the performance-oriented workplace only through their positive orientation and friendly, firm behavior.

The idea is irrespective of your power or position when we demonstrate the above qualities, there are possibilities of turning the situation favorable. Also, there is a high probability that we would be seen as lead or influential personalities.

It all depends on your energy level, your perspective on work and people, persistence in working in a non-conducive environment, and converting to your advantage as well as to organizational benefits.

When the possibility of turning into conducive is very low, we always choose to move out. That is the ultimate option available to anyone.

How can a leader inculcate the purpose?

 How can a leader inculcate the purpose?

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

As we have discussed the importance and method of creating PURPOSE at an individual level, let us discuss how effective leaders are inculcating the PURPOSE to the organization's employees.

As an individual, the benefit of knowing the purpose is to elevate our energy and focus on a higher cause, which will also help us navigate the challenges easily. Similarly, when the team in the organization also knows and aligns themselves on the higher purpose of the organization, the focus and interaction would be on a higher cause than isolated or distracted working.

Since people come from different values and personal needs to the organization, bringing the people together is very significant for organizational growth and internal harmony. Getting that alignment is one of the responsibilities of an effective leader.

As I observed, some of the below practices by effective leaders.
 
1.Sharing the value of the organization to the team frequently
2.Keep the team engaged with new possibilities or targets
 
Sharing the value of the organization to the team frequently:

This is one of the practices some effective leaders adopt to keep the people on an elevated level. They use to share the organizational values frequently with the team whenever they interact or through forums.
 
For example, in one of my previous organizations, the Managing director of the company frequently mentions “Trust building with the customer through service.” Eventually, when the people are exposed to the repeated value's expectation, their actions and interactions with others are also in line with their organizational values. As long as the person is working in the organization, he is bound to work with building trust with others.

Keep the team engaged with new possibilities or targets.

This is another method I had observed with some of the leaders. They engage the team by showing new possibilities or business targets. This will make the team to work on an elevated emotional level as the future possibilities eventually tap out their potential. As human beings, we are always excited to look forward to new things that we have not seen earlier.

For example, a few years back, Ratan Tata conceived the idea of the low-cost car, which no one ever thought of before. That new possibility might have created a positiveness and drive for Tata motors' internal team to work together to see it in reality.
 
The key point when you are aligned with higher-level purpose, your energy, emotions, managing the challenges, and achievement orientation would be to a higher degree. That is applicable for the individual and the organization as well.!

Some leaders are good at inculcating those purposes in the team through their consistent effort, which i think is one of the leader's primary responsibilities!
 

Overcoming Envy

 Overcoming Envy

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)
 

Having discussed the causes of envy and its effect on our workplace productivity, let us discuss the approaches to deal with jealousy as an emotion.

As mentioned, there is a thin line difference when we look at others for comparison or inspiration and get envy. The consciousness is always required not to get into the envy trap. I am sharing below some of the approaches as i experienced.
 

• Counting your blessings
• Setting your standard and comparing yourself.
• Learn the nature of creation
• Appreciating the goodness frequently

Counting your blessings always:
 

Envy comes in when we have a thinking that others have something which we do not have. It is an outcome of a scarcity mindset. To counter that thinking, we need to count our blessings and the positive things we have in our lives.

For example, you may observe a colleague who has extraordinary social skills, which you may lack. Eventually, you will compare yourself and feel envy about it. To counter that, you think of your blessing, say you may be having extraordinarily analytical and problem-solving skills which others may be lacking. That is a blessing or gift you got. Think about what you have, and feel grateful for that. When we count your blessings, we become less envious of others.

Just think and recognize what you got in this life in terms of skills, personal qualities, people you surround with, exposure, and opportunities you got. Most of the time, we take things for granted, and in reality, most of the privileges we got in life are not readily available to others.

The more you think of your blessings and make it part of your personality; eventually, the less you affect by other's possession or success.

Just list down your blessings and make it a habit.

When we have not associated ourselves with the blessings, any comparison of us with others results in envy as it emerges from scarcity.

Let us discuss other approaches next week.
 

Why do we envy others?

 Why do we envy others?

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

One more emotion or feeling that disrupts our well-being and productiveness in the workplace is envy.

Envy is a feeling of discontent or unhappiness about other's success, advantages, or possessions.

We develop envy when we see others have something we wish to have. It could be personal qualities, skills, success, positional status, materialistic advantages, and opportunities.

for example, 

We become sad, angry, or resentful, 
when someone is getting appreciation or being noticed in the workplace
when someone is having some skills or other qualities than us
 
How is envy getting developed?
 
 One of the habits that most of us have is to compare ourselves with others. Initially, it starts with inspiration or general reference; eventually, it becomes envy. The process of comparison goes like this. We start comparing with others on skill sets, competency, possession, etc., start amazing, and then eventually looking at self, finding the gap, start feeling as inferior, becoming self-pity and weak. When we repeat the comparison habit with many people, we eventually conclude that “I do not have much positive qualities or possession, and  I am not deserving of greatness.”The self-pity becomes envy.
 
 The strange thing in the comparison process is that we compare and envy only our known circle or at the same level. For example, a rich/poor person compares him/ herself against another rich/ poor person and envy it. Most of the time, we may compare ourselves with our colleagues or friends’ level only, not on a higher level, says boss or beyond our network.
 
How does envy affect us?

Unlike other emotions, envy is something more inward and harmful than other emotions.

1) Internally, we lose our self-esteem as we always feel a scarcity/shortage of something when we keep on comparing with others. Lack of self-esteem will invite all the troubles, as we have discussed in many articles.

2) Externally, we express our emotions into rude behavior, criticizing other’s success with our own opinions

3) We lose our identity and focus of our priorities
 
Even though getting envy is a universal emotion of all human beings, which may vary with the hierarchy, we need to control with a clear borderline of inspiration and envy.

Let us discuss the approaches next week!

Misconception about empathy and performance

 Misconception about empathy and performance

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

One of the responses for last week's discussion on "empathy or looking at the things from other's views" is that if we start looking at things from other's views, that leads into lenience and, in turn, mediocrity in the performance, particularly in a professional environment.

We need to understand the slight difference between empathy and being lenient.

Empathy means we listen to other's views and recognize the cause in it. That does not mean that we are accepting the consequences as such.

For example, let us imagine a typical scenario in the workplace,

One of your junior colleagues on a particular day left the office early due to personal issues. He/she may be the authorized person for a financial transaction, and he/ she had not delegated the task to anyone on that day. Due to his/ her absence, the important financial transaction did not happen, which affected your organizational performance.

In this scenario, as a manager/leader, what choices you had the next day when the junior colleague reported the duty?

Choice 1:

You might have displayed your dissatisfaction with the performance without listening to his/ her situation. In this process, both of you experienced negative emotions or hurt personally.No learning from low performance.
 
Choice 2 :

You might have listened to personal issues, and both of you felt sorry about the performance. In this process, you are lenient and accept mediocre performance.
 
Choice 3:

You might have listened to personal issues, acknowledged it and you might have assertively conveyed your dissatisfaction and his/ her lack of delegation to the work. You made him/ her responsible for not completing the task.He/she might have learned from the mistakes.
 
Choice 3 is the appropriate method of understanding others and ensuring the right management process in place.

Most of the time, we are witnessing either choice 1 or 2 in which mediocre performance is encouraged.

 i recall an incident that happened to me some years back. I drove my car first time in a new city and violated the signal as I was not familiar with the signal points and free left etc. A traffic policeman stopped me and got my license. I briefed him about my first-time driving and lack of awareness about the signal points. He listened to me and advised me to be careful in city driving. But he was firm to charge me fine as punishment and I also paid. In my view, the policemen were very empathic about my ignorance but, at the same time, firm on his duty. That is what required for the people who are at the commanding level as a manager or leader. Just imagine if the policeman displayed choice 1 or choice 2  behavior, then we both were not doing justice to ourselves as humanity consideration or duty consciousness.!
 
The point is being empathetic does not lead to lenience; you need to be firm on your role as a leader in a professional environment for ensuring performance!

Looking from other's view

 Looking from other's view

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

As we have been discussing the method of channelizing or regulating the emotions in the workplace, one more effective approach is "looking at the things from other's view."

In most human interactions, everything is right or wrong from the person's standpoint, exposure or experience, context, and timing only.

When i am considering my decision is right, that is based on my experience, my today's context and that decision may be proven wrong by some one's point of view from their expertise, background, and timeline perspective. When we realize this truth, we can develop the ability to look at things from other's views.

This ability will help us to channelize or regulate emotions like anger, frustration, jealousy from competitiveness into positive emotions.

For example, you may get momentarily anger with your junior colleague's quality of work, say preparation of the presentation. When you understand his/ her background, experience, you may realize their weakness, which will help you to cool your emotions and divert into compassion to develop him/ her.

I am not advocating other's mistakes to be accepted as such, but for every error of others, if you suffer from negative emotions, it is not going to help you. Instead, if you develop the ability to recognize the causes for the mistake or low performance from other's perspective, at that moment, that will make you be in positive emotions.

Some people are good at look at things from other's perspectives, and it is a skill to be developed!