People do for their reasons.

 People do for their reasons. 

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

 

As we discuss the topic of "People Skill at the workplace," let us discuss some insights on improving people's skill management techniques.
 
Let us understand one more cause and effect of people's emotions.

Many of us might have come across a situation where colleagues or junior colleagues agreed to do some tasks when we said, but never did it as per commitment or done with after many followups or completed with half-heartedly.

Some managers use to complain that people are not doing the task as they want them to do.

“The reason is that people are doing the things for their reasons, not for your reasons.”

The only reason for others to do is “THEY WANT TO DO."

Many times, our wants (reasons) and other wants (reason) is different. When there is a conflict of interest, things will not happen as we expect.

We can bridge the gap only through a trusted relationship, feedback, and in turn, positively influencing.

Some time back, i have experienced this conflict with one of my clients. I wanted them to prepare a macrolevel plan for an important project. They seem to be understood the context, importance and agreed to do so. But things got delayed, and i realized that my want(reasons) and their want (reason) are not matching.
My reason for the macro-level plan was to judge the potential quickly, and their reason was to arrive at the plan they should have more data, accuracy, availability of time, and so on. Because of many if's and buts, they did not want to initiate the task.

On realising the gap, i worked with them further to brief the benefits of quick overview and also clarified some of the ambiguities. Then finally things were done.

My key  realizations are 

Generally, people want to do as the intention is right, but other issues like doubt, lack of clarity, fear pulls them from doing it.
 
As leaders/managers, we need to establish the compelling need for completing the task to others. That can be done by building trust in what we say and how we say. It is mainly about bringing more clarity on the intention and transferring the same emotional aspect to others. Let us discuss the various methods in the coming weeks.

We need to clarify whether others have understood our wants/reasons. Most of the time, the feedback aspect we forget as we generally tend to say/hear, what we want to say/ hear, other things we use to filter or ignore it. We miss seeing things from other’s perspectives.
 
The key learning is that people are motivated to do things only when aligned with WHAT they WANT TO DO. Relating that WANT and bringing the motivation to do it through interpersonal and communication skills is essential for any leaders/ managers in getting things done.

Let us discuss some other people's skills next week.

Stay safe till then!
 

What kind of emotional experience do others get from you?

 What kind of emotional experience do others get from you? 

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

 

 As we discuss the topic of "People Skill at the workplace," let us discuss some insights on improving people's skill management techniques.
 
Before getting into the techniques, let us understand some of the principles of human emotions.

The ultimate purpose of people skills is to get things done and maintain a high quality of relationships.

Lesson 2: 
 
By nature, as human beings, we are always keen on either maximizing pleasure or minimizing pain in any actions and interactions with others.
 
Pleasure includes the feeling of pride, happiness, enthusiasm, fun, respect, joy, learning new things, and any other positive emotions.

Pain includes guilty, sadness, embarrassment, shame, feeling inferior, and any other non-positive emotions.

We always try to maximize pleasure and avoid pain.

For example,

At a personal level, when we take a task, we would like to complete it to get the most satisfaction from it, and we do not want it to get incomplete and then get the feeling of regret. For instance, when we make mistakes, we tend to explain as our mind does not accept the pain of realizing our incapability of not making things right. To avoid emotional pain, we justify with logic. That is the nature of us.

Similarly, at an interpersonal level, people are looking for gaining positive emotional experience from the work (like pride, appreciation, empowerment, learning something new) rather than non-positive experience from the work (like getting blamed, frustrated, feeling low, etc.).

To sum up, either at a self-level or an interpersonal level, everyone desires to maximize pleasure, minimize pain, or even avoid the pain.

If we want to improve people management skills, we need to remember this principle.

Also, we need to ask ourselves is, what kind of emotional experience are we giving to the people when they interact or work with us?

Are we giving others the most positive emotional experience, like respect, making others feel good, secure, comfortable to express, or another way?

When we enhance the positive emotional experience of others, we strengthen our people skills, that is, getting things done and improving the quality of relationships.
 
Let us learn some more principles next week.

Stay safe till then!

How our belief system affects people's skills?

 How our belief system affects people's skills?

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

 

As we discuss the topic of "People Skill at the workplace," let us discuss some insights on improving people's skill management techniques.
 
Before getting into the techniques, let us understand the cause and effect of our beliefs on people skills.

The ultimate purpose of people skills is to get things done and maintain a high quality of relationships.
 
Lesson 1: How our belief systems or assumptions affects the people skill?
 
The belief system is nothing but what we believe as truth or simply our assumptions. This belief or assumption plays a significant role in getting things done and maintaining relationships with others.

For example,

As a manager or the business head, you are supposed to send the quotation for an inquiry, and you are delegating the task to your junior colleague by stating that the task is URGENT.
 
Even after two days, you are not getting the tasks done by your colleague, and you call him/ her and get into an argument, and finally, somehow task is completed.

Here only your belief or assumptions and your junior colleagues’ beliefs or assumptions work against both.

When you refer URGENT, say, for example, you assume that TODAY is urgent, whereas your junior colleagues believe that TOMORROW is urgent. Why is there a difference in assumption? Because both are coming from different experiences and backgrounds and inturn the assumptions or beliefs are also different. Both look at things from their angle based on their BELIEF SYSTEM.
 
Naturally, when there is a difference in assumptions or beliefs, there is a high chance of not getting things done on time, or there may be a strain in the relationship.
 
When you understand this lesson, you may change your communication by stating when you want the quote, say by stating today evening at 4 pm.
 
The point is that we need to ensure the following when we assign the task to others.

• Clarify whether our assumptions and others' assumptions are the same or not?
• What questions do we need to ask others to ensure they are in the same assumptions as ours?
• What information do we need to give to avoid the conflict of assumptions or beliefs?

When we know the difference exists in ASSUMPTIONS OR BELIEFS in each individual, we can change our communication practices! That will help to improve our people skills.

Let us discuss other lessons next week.

Stay safe till then!

Book on Influencing

 Book on Influencing 

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

 

As we initiated the discussion on People Skills at the workplace, some people responded acquiring people skills is challenging, and some replied that skills would come by experience. In my opinion, all are true.
When we say SKILL, it is an application of knowledge. It calls for learning the knowledge through observation, books, other learning contents, and then experimenting with practical life.

Reading books may be helpful to enhance the perspectives on people's emotions, dynamics of action, or behaviors and learn some of the proven ways to deal with people's challenges.

Recently I came across one such book as suggested by a Human resource friend, and I think it is relevant for people skill topic.

Book Title: Winning Without Intimidation 

I suggest reading this book as e-books are available as this will enhance our perspectives on influencing others to get things done in a professional environment.

Let us discuss more insights about dealing with people's challenges and influencing next week.

Stay safe till then!

Developing People Management Skill

 Developing People Management Skill 

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)
 

As you recall that when we initiated this series on managing emotions for personal and professional growth, we discussed broadly three parts of emotional intelligence

1. Managing self
2. Achievement orientation
3. Managing others

Having discussed the first two parts, let us discuss some of the insights related to Managing Others.

In a professional or organizational context, "managing others" means managing the people to balance both the result and the relationship. The people could be your boss, colleagues, and your junior colleagues.

Some of the questions or dilemma most of the business head and manager  have 

 “How to keep the people motivated to get most despite the challenges and uncertainties”?

"Am I a good leader or manager?"
 
"Am I focussing more on task and compromising soft aspects or more lenient on people and losing focus on the task?"

"Am I balancing task/ result and people/ relationship well?"
 
For all the questions above, the answer lies in our ability to manage emotions regarding people management. People management skill is all about that ability.

Why is people management skill important?

We might have come across some very competent managers in technical or functional expertise but still struggling to cope with relating people and relationship management. Their career growth also slows after some time.

Even with moderate technical or functional expertise, some people are pretty successful in achievement by leveraging people around them. They are liked by all and perceived by others as influencers.

When you are moving up in career ladder, people's skills play a significant role along with functional expertise.
 
Where the gap exists?

The gap is mainly on managing emotions when dealing with people. It is the ability to relate with the people, motivate, tap the potential, manage conflicts, solve complex problems, and influence anyone beyond the functional boundaries.

                                       
 
Let us discuss those aspects in the coming weeks and solicit your personal experiences or challenges on people management.

Stay safe until then!

Winning Mindset to deal with challenges

 Winning Mindset to deal with challenges 

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)
 

As we conclude the topic “Achievement Orientation,” the last aspect is how an individual or effective leader deals with the challenges during the execution of any task.

 
Despite the planning process, clarity on values, purpose, being in conducive envelopment, self-commitment, and clarity on the roadmap, the reality is that the execution journey may not be rosy. The execution may not go as per plan.

Sometimes, we ended up with a different result than what we planned at the beginning of the journey. Dealing with reality needs a mindset that looks at everything as a winning opportunity in the journey. We can develop the mindset with awareness and practice.

Some of my observations from the effective leaders on dealing with the challenges
 
Embracing the challenges with excitement:

Effective leaders embrace the challenges when they initiate. I know one of the managing directors of an organization always starts with “I am excited to initiate some actions."Whenever he begins a difficult task, he began with that vocabulary. He demonstrated his energy and enthusiasm towards facing difficult task challenges, and he succeeded in most of the tasks. The key is how you look at the challenges at the beginning of the journey. That will give you the power to navigate.

Being adaptable during navigation

Effective people are good at being adaptive to the challenges or changes during the journey. Adaptability is the ability to accept the changes at the given moment and accordingly change the plan considering the task's holistic view. This emotional aspect is essential as, in reality, the plan may not go as expected. The person who has adaptability is happier than the person being rigid.
 
Learn from the experience

Another mindset the effective people demonstrate is that they take the outcome, whether favorable or unfavorable, as a learning experience. They always look at challenges in an optimistic way as "what I have learned from this experience." When you look at every outcome as a learning experience, you will not get much disappointment.

Taking a step back and self-introspect

Some people take a step back and reflect the things that went wrong from the planning. This mindset is the most effective way to deal with challenges and avoids mistakes in the future. The strong person can only admit the mistakes, and self-introspection makes the individual further emotionally stronger.
 
Our mindset in dealing with reality is essential than the celebration of the successful outcome as life is an experience than an event. The mindset to deal with each experience matters on emotional wellness!
 

Sense of achievement

 Sense of achievement  

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

 

Recently, in one of the management review forums, one manager narrated his daily work experience and asked the following question, which I felt is relevant for the topic "achievement orientation."
 
The question is, “I am working hard throughout the day in the office, doing many activities and being busy throughout the day, still at the end of the day, i do not get the satisfaction that I did achieve something.”Why don't i get the sense of fulfillment?
 
I am sure most of us relate ourselves as we might have experienced sometimes.
 
What could be the reason for not feeling the sense of achievement?
 
My view is that lack of FOCUS on the priorities …. In an organizational setup, each role is expected to meet some of the priorities. Else, at the end of the day or eventually, at some period, we will feel, or others will perceive us that we are not achieving as expected.
 
Let me give an example,
 
If you are a functional finance head, your core priority or expectation from others is managing the fund flow in the organization seamlessly and looking at the opportunities for cash generation. Only when you have the clarity on the same and focus your energy, effort, time in achieving the core priorities, then only you feel the sense of achievement.

Alternatively, suppose you concentrate more on other non-core activities or working on others' priorities and being busy always, at the end of the day, despite your hard work, you feel a sense of non-achievement only. Here the issue is a lack of clarity on the priorities/expectation and lack of focus on the priorities.
 
The point is for any professional, depending on the position or role, we need to have
 

• Clarity on what we want or what is expected out of us
• Ability to focus on the priority
• Working on the priority and get the desired result.
• Feeling the sense of achievement.

 
Clarity and Focus on priority are much essential for getting a sense of achievement.

Just relate to your life experience and let me know your views!

Have a great week ahead.
 

How a Leader brings conviction to the team to achieve?

 How a Leader brings conviction to the team to achieve?  

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

 

As we discussed last week on the importance of personal conviction to achieve something in the workplace, two factors determine the conviction. One is the emotional part, and the other is the rational part.
 
The emotional part is bringing on the compelling need to achieve, and the rational part gives clarity on the path to move ahead. When both are ensured in any task, there is a high possibility to succeed. When either one of the parts is missing or not given appropriate weightage, there are high possibilities for slow progress or underperformance.
 
For example,
Generally, most of us take the goal of achieving physical fitness. But not all people succeed consistently. The reason is the lack of deep, compelling need. If we give ourselves that fitness is good for health, it won’t help push us to achieve. Alternatively, if we associate physical fitness with our survival or associate with family members, the probability of achieving the desired fitness level is high.

I had witnessed one of my relatives gave up some of his lifestyle habits when he was diagnosed with a life-challenging disease. The change happened because emotionally, there was a compelling need to change from a survival perspective. 

There is a high level of conviction to achieve when there is an emotional connection with any achievement goal and personal life like survival, pride, reputation, appreciation, monetary benefits, or growth.
 
The next aspect is that even though we have an emotional connection to achieve when there is a lack of clarity on attaining (to some extent), it likely affects the conviction. For example, one wants to become financially independent but does not know the methods, avenues, and environment. The rational part makes it less likely to bring orientation towards achievement.
 
Being aware of the importance of emotional and rational aspects towards achievement orientation, the leaders plan well when delegating the task. They bring the compelling need of any task to the team by connecting the benefits to them and available with the team for guidance/support during the journey to enable the team to perform better.
 
Hence, one has to ensure both emotional and rational parts are being addressed equally for any achievement orientation.

You can relate with your experience where you succeed in any task, and there could be a balanced mix of emotional and logical parts!

Have a great week ahead.

Why do we fail sometimes to achieve?

 Why do we fail sometimes to achieve?

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

 

Have you come across a situation where despite knowing the clarity on our values, purpose, being in a conducive environment, committed self, we still do not achieve what we intend in any new venture or assignment or delay the pace of achievement.

What is preventing us from achieving as per plan, or why is there slowness in progress?
 
It is due to the intensity of self-efficacy or, alternatively, lack of conviction.
 
Self-efficacy is the person’s belief that he/ she can complete the task. It refers to the individual conviction that he/ she can accomplish the task or mission. We know that to achieve something, we need to change some of the behaviors, but we have internal doubt that we can change our behavior. Given that self-doubt, we choose not to change the behavior. In that stage, we lose the conviction.
 
For example,

we are aware of the importance of physical fitness and knowhow of maintaining healthy practices. However, still, most of us never achieved the target of fitness, whatever we set ourselves. We have self-doubt about our ability to accomplish, say we need to get the early morning to do exercise. When we have doubt, we lose conviction.

The point is that the failure is not because of awareness, know-how, but at an individual level, lack of conviction.

In many organizations, the business heads set the business goals during the financial year beginning but ended up with a flat result or delaying the progress. It is mainly due to a lack of conviction of the result or lack of self-doubt in accomplishing it. Rarely external factors play a role in the achievement.

However, in some organizations, the business head sets the target and achieves the same. How they bring the conviction themselves on the result and process, and how do they convince the team to succeed?

Mainly two factors that determine the conviction. One is emotional, and another one is rational thinking.

Let us discuss more bringing the conviction through balancing emotional and rational aspects in next week!

Commitment -Nature or Nurture?

 Commitment -Nature or Nurture? 

(Emotional Management for Personal & Professional Growth Series)

Last week, we ended up with one question, whether the personal commitment is an inborn quality or can be nurtured to any person?

 
For quite a long time, i use to observe and wonder how some people are committed to their work, being consistent. Also, i use to hear from business heads/managers that some people are not committed to the work or towards achievement. One question i always seek answers to is whether the commitment is naturally existed as inborn quality or being nurtured by the environment. 
 
I found some research studies on personality traits and the impact of genetics and the environment.

The finding summarised below for quick reference.
 

• People develop a strong identity as they age, and maturity brings a more significant commitment to whatever task they take. At a young age, people are exploring their identity. In this process, there is a perceived gap in the commitment of others.
• Even though some of the personality traits are inborn, those are not stable. Those are subject to environmental factors like those with whom they are associating and get influenced.
• Role clarity and continuity in the role bring more commitment than consistency in the environment.

The key learning for me is that both inborn and environmental matters in cultivating the commitment among the people in the workplace.

How can the leader interpret the above findings and apply them in the workplace?
 

• People are at different levels of evolution. Each one requires TIME to change. Let us give it.
• Leaders / Managers are role models in demonstrating commitment consistently. When people work under a committed person, eventually he/ she becomes, which I have witnessed in many places. For example, when the leader is committed to responding to customer complaints within 24 hrs, people under them also committed the same pace as i have witnessed in one of the organizations.
• Since people are struggling with their identity, role clarity, distractions, overnight success pressure, and dilemma,  the leader’s time in spending time with people brings change towards achievement commitment.
• People development is a nurturing process, and it is the role of the people manager.

We need to ask ourselves whether we are committed to people's development in the workplace!