Managing Expectation part 6

      Past weeks, we discussed  three  insights on  expectation. First, when there is a relationship, there must be an expectation. Second, in  a relationship, since someone is believing that you are the person  capable of meeting their needs, thereby expectation rises. If we want to preserve the relationship,  it  becomes our responsibility to manage the expectation. . Third, we cannot control other’s expectation and it is difficult to fulfill other expectation all the time, only we need to learn to manage or balance the expectation.

We will discuss  fourth insights  of expectation 

Insight 4:

"In a relationship, the expectation is not explicitly expressed"

      Most of the time, as we take relationship as GRANTED, we restrict the expression of our expectation to others. When we are not  explicitly expressing our expectation, it creates misunderstanding, disappointments and frustration in a relationship.

For example,

       as a manager, you  want to cut down the expenses and  expect your  team member to prepare the expense analysis. Your  team member is also preparing and presenting you all the data with analysis. But still internally you may be disappointed with your team ‘s performance. The reason could be internally you are expecting decision points  or solutions approach where you are getting only the accumulated data and analysis. You  might have assumed or taken granted, you team member understood your internal expectation and when the reality is not so, you are getting disappointed.

      Similarly, in personal life, your spouse / children want you to spend time with them and they may ask for taking them to short outings. Even after you spend your time and money on the picnic or outing, they may get upset with you. The reason could be the real expectation n is spending quality time with you and  you had not fulfilled during outings. Since it is an intimate relationship, things are taken  granted and the expression is not explicitly expressed.
The point to understand is in a relationship, most of the time, things are taken granted and the expectation is not expressed clearly. Once we understand these insights, we can discuss the solutions approach in the coming weeks..

Managing Expectation part 5

Past weeks, we discussed  two insights on  expectation.First, when there is a relationship, there must be an expectation. Second, in  a relationship, since someone is believing that you are the person  capable of meeting their needs, thereby expectation rises. If we want to preserve the relationship, it  becomes our responsibility to manage the expectation. This  reflection will relieve the stress  to some extend on managing the expectation.

We will discuss  third insights  of expectation 

Insight 3:

"You cannot control other’s expectation"

Even though our intention must be to fulfill the expectation of others to the maximum extent possible, we must also realize the fact that we cannot control other’s expectation of us. That means, others can expect anything from us, it is not possible always to fulfill  the  expectation. It  requires a balanced approach to managing the expectation and relationship.

This insight is important, failing which only, sometimes, we want to please all people and in this process, either we lose  our   temperament or personality  or disappoint  everyone surrounding us. 

For example, through your business, you are providing service  and your customer is  expecting more from you and sometimes expecting unreasonably say superior performance, lowest cost, and fastest delivery. You cannot control the customer’s expectation. At the same time, you may not able to fulfill all expectation, as you know it is a tradeoff between cost, speed, and delivery. 

Here what you must learn is how to manage the unreasonable expectation and retain the relationship, not on trying to please others at the cost of your profitability and peace .

We discuss the solution part once we outline one more insights on expectation next week !.

Managing Expectation -Part 4

Managing Expectation part 4

     Last week, we discussed that when there is a relationship, there must be an expectation. Alternatively expectation arises  only there is some form of relationship. Now we understand why someone is expecting from us or we are expecting something from our relationship?

Insight 2:

Why someone is expecting from us? Because others are believing that you are capable of fulfilling their expectations.

For example, 

you are expecting more from you, because subconsciously you believe that you have more potential.

In a  professional environment, your boss is expecting more from you than other  colleagues, because he believes you have more potential and  capability to deliver.

In family life, family members are expecting more of your time  with them,because  they believe that  you are the source of love, source of care, source of affection.
Your friend  is  sharing  his problems with  you, because he is  believing that you can provide perspective or solutions to the problem.
In a nutshell, someone who is having a relationship with us, believing that we  can fulfill their expectations.

If you understand this fact, Is it not previlege for  you  for having such a relationship in your life ????..If this is previege  or a gift you got in your life, is not your responsibility to make an effort to fulfill the expectation of the relationship ??

If you internalize this insight, you will never be feel stressed  on managing the expectation..You thank God for having so  many people in your life believes that you can deliver, then managing expectation becomes easier… Reflect on it till next week!!!

Managing Expectation -Part 3

      As discussed last week, as most of us struggling to manage the expectation and in this process, we get into disappointment, frustration, personal vengeance or stress.

       We discuss this aspect into insights and solutions approach. Before getting into solution approach, let us understand some of the truth or  insights about the expectation management.

Insight 1:

        In personal life, expectation arises between you and yourself, expectation arises between you and your parents / brothers, expectation arises between husband and wife, expectation arises between parents and child, expectation arises between teacher and students and so on.

        In a professional environment, expectation arises between you and your boss, expectation arises between you  and your team, expectation arises between peers and so on.

        In a business environment, expectation arises between supplier and customer, expectation between client and service provider, expectation arises between business and society and so on.

        Likewise, expectation arises between one element and another. In all the above examples, what does exist in common? In all the examples, there exists "RELATIONSHIP". Expectation arises only when there is a RELATIONSHIP. Alternatively, we can say when there is a relationship; there must be expectation in the relationship. .

        Generally, we are not expecting much about someone who does not have much relationship with us. We expect something only someone is associated with our life through some relationships. Hence, when there is a relationship, there must be some expectation. If we internalize this fact or insight, this would  bring a new dimension to solve the managing the expectation problem.

        The next insight would be when there is a relationship, why someone  is expecting from us .Let us discuss the insight next week

Managing Expectation -part 2

         As outlined last week, in personal and professional life, most of us are struggling to manage the expectation as we have limited time and  resources.

When there is a gap between the expectation and reality, it becomes problematic. This  problem may result in disappointment, angry, self deprivation, frustration  or  in modern management terminology  STRESS.

For example, at a personal level, you may  like to give up some bad habits  and in reality, if you are not able to give up, that makes  you disappointment, that shakes your self confidence or you start to hate yourself. How to manage about yourself  during such circumstances?

Similarly, in professional front, you may  expect  high performance levels  from your team and the team is not up to your expectation, you get into disappointment, frustration or personal level vengeance   with some team members. Eventually it starts spoiling  the quality of  relationship with the team. How to manage the expectation from others? In the reverse situation, your boss is expecting more from you and if you are up to his expectation, the same level of stress your boss may be undergoing  as you are going through!!!..How to manage the expectation of others for you??

Similarly, even in family front, you may expect  something  from your spouse, children and the reality may be  different. You get into disappointment and sometimes the disappointments turn into  anguish  and   verbal battle situations. How to manage those expectations  in a domestic environment?

The point for realization is that there is no guarantee that reality will always be same as you are expecting. What we need to learn is how to cope or manage the gap  between the expectation and reality.

We discuss some of the insights about expectation  management next week!

Managing Expectation

          Thanks  for the positive response to  our survey on weekly insight  initiative and we had received   a lot of suggestions to improve the learning experience. One of the suggestions was that instead of discussing random topics every week, take one topic and discuss  it from 360 perspectives. We also realized, this suggestion  would improve the depth of understanding on a particular topic and now we have chosen “ Managing expectation “ as one topic and next few weeks, we will be discussing all aspects  of management in depth. Your views or comments are solicited.

         In personal and professional life, most of us  are struggling to manage the  expectation as we have limited time and resources. On the personal front, there is a need to manage the expectation from  SELF as well as from  family members. In the professional front,there is a need to manage the expectation  from bosses, subordinates, peers and in business environment, there is a need to manage the expectation from  customers and other stakeholders.

         When we are not able to manage  the expectation well, it creates a lot of pressure within us.To manage the expectation, we need to understand some of the insights and discuss the solutions approach.

Let us discuss the following aspects in the coming weeks

1. Misunderstanding about the expectation management

2. Some of the  insights about expectation

3. A paradigm shift in approaching the problem

4. Solutions approach to manage the expectation

Mastering the art of managing expectation leads to high performance, extraordinary human being and above all makes you stress free. (Which is good for you and others!!!) and let us strive for it.!!

Evaluate your 2015

“Dates that come around every year help us measure progress in our lives. One annual event, New Year's Day, is a time of reflection and resolution.”—Joseph Wirthlin

    Even though the transformation in personal and business life happens through  the changes WITHIN, irrespective of change in calendar years, now, this is the opportune time to plan for change. Instead of merely planning with wishes, it would be effective to look back , learn from the past and set the direction for the future.

    Hence evaluate your 2015 in all aspects of life with the right questions. This may help to reinforce the good things you did, correct the bad things you did in 2015.Answering to the following questions may l help you to set  the direction right on career / business / relationship / financial aspects.

Which initiatives worked well in business  / professional career  and which was not?

What  motivated me last year and what drained  my motivation level?

What factors improved  / affected the quality of relationship  with family members / peers/ subordinates / clients?

Which factors improved my personal financial success and what not? 

What made me proud of  my contributions to others?

Reflection is more powerful than any other form of learnings. Reflect on 2015 and move forward for great 2016 as each one of us in this earth are deserved for continuous growth..

Wishing you and your family & Business  to achieve new growth, peace, happy new year 2016!

Managing Time

“Priority management is the answer to maximizing our time “–John c Maxwell

       For most of us, pressing need is how to manage time. Even though there are best seller book and training session on time management with many formats, techniques, they help to some extend on awareness creation only. Those external driven factors may not be much more effective as  time management is more of  “Internal driven”. It is not managing time, it is about managing your temptation and emotions.

      For instance, If someone offers you a choice to get one cheque with  valued Rs 1000 and another Rs 2000. Obviously, most of us choose Rs 2000 cheque. In case, if  it comes with a choice that Rs 1000 could be cashed tomorrow and Rs 2000 could be cashed after a year, would your decision remain same? Most of us in a real experiment  would decide to take Rs 1000, despite the fact that the second option is a rationally better choice.

      This example demonstrates the temptation kicks in when immediate benefit is present, we tend to take irrational decision.Our ability to take good decision disappears when we see, short term benefits.The same is applicable when we prioritize our IMPORTANT and URGENT work. We know very clearly what is important for us in terms of growth  and strive for doing important things.When short term, immediate benefits come across our way like emails, meeting, phone calls, entertainments, we become sensitive to urgent and lose the focus on Important aspects.The attraction of small, short term pleasure outweighs the big, long term, hard activities.

       When we learn to manage those temptations or emotion, we become master of time management. Be aware of your emotions!

Adversity

“Every adversity, every failure carries with it the seeds of an equal or greater benefits”-Napoleon Hill

         Adversity or difficult times happen in our life at any moment. The difficult moments can be losing job suddenly, losing dear ones, losing all earned money etc. Those moments make our life upside down and literally we may not have clue what would happen next. As it is beyond our control, we can not avoid and only option is to undergo the experience.

          Actually, those tough times only teach us a lot of valuable lesson about life. It brings loved one closer to us than ever before. It brings us a lot of time to introspect our past mistakes, which leads to difficult times. It makes us to think to handle the future different way .It brings out our real divine power within us and rise up as stronger than ever.


           Let us look back your life; you might have come across so many difficult times in different point of time. Despite all those ,today you are .This is due to the powerful learning’s , courage, will power, divine energy you got from those tough times. Similarly, you look around any nation, which had undergone many tough times in the past and today it stands tall because adversity makes them stronger than before.

          Hence, adversity need to be looked at as part of life, that also will pass over a period of time .Real happiness is not in good times and it is on how we manage tough times and come up .Great time ahead after every adversity. That is the Law of Nature!

Encouragement

“Our duty is to encourage everyone in his struggle to live up to his own highest idea”.--Swami Vivekananda

       The following true incident happened several years ago in Paris Opera House.  A famous singer had been contracted to sing and all the arrangements were made  and the all tickets were sold out.During the event day, before starting the program, there were  feeling of anticipation and excitement among the fans. 

       The Event manager took the stage and said “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid that due to illness, the man whom we have booked will not be performing tonight. However, we have found a suitable substitute and we hope  he will provide you a comparable entertainment experience”. The crowd shouted in disappointment and failed to hear the name of the person which was announced by the event manager. The total environment turned from excitement to frustration..

      The new  performer gave the performance everything he had. When he had finished, there was no reaction from the audience except silence. No one  applauded and the performer about to step down from the stage. Suddenly, a little boy stood up and shouted, “Daddy, I think you have done a wonderful job, Love you so much”’. The crowd broke into thunderous applause and cheering.

   We all need people in our lives who are willing to stand up for us , once in a while and say “ I think you have done wonderful Job”. That makes a big difference!!!