Giving undivided attention

Improving communication in the workplace

Giving undivided attention
Having discussed the importance of making other people feel good in your presence and impact of body language on active listening, let us consider other factors on emotional aspects of communication like giving undivided attention during conversation.
 
 Undivided attention:
 
Either you speak to someone, or somebody talk to you, how much care you are giving to the conversation without any other distraction is all about undivided attention.

You might have come across a situation when you are conveying something to your colleagues or someone, and they might be looking at their mobile, laptop or looking around someone or waving hands to someone than listening to your message. That is the example of divided attention. When you undergo a similar experience, either you may lose energy or the other person receives half information. In either way, the effectiveness is lost.
 
Undivided attention can be demonstrated through your eye contact with the other person or prompting the other person or nodding your head when you listen to another person. Even though it looks like good manners, it is difficult for all to follow. Hence this is art or skill to be mastered with awareness and practice.
 
This skill is required, especially when you interact 1-1 basis with others.
 
I have given below the video link indicating the importance of undivided attention during 1-1 conversation. ( as found in youtube source)
 
https://youtu.be/psdlZ4ee3qE
 
Giving undivided attention is a conscious effort and can be developed with awareness and practice.
 

Awareness of body language

Improving communication in the workplace

Awareness of body language and state of mind

As discussed last week on the importance of making others feels good in your presence to improve communication, let us consider the importance of body language on the quality of communication.

Whether in face to face or telephonic conversation, before the actual discussion, we are communicating through our posture, quality of tone, eye contact, and facial expression. That is body language. Body language is something others are seeing from you. Your body language is the outcome of your state of mind at any point in time.

If you are happy, energetic, and with enthusiasm, your posture, tone quality, and facial expression would be pleasing to others. Alternatively, when you are angry, fear, sadness, anxiety, your posture, tone, and facial expression would be terrible to others. That sets the quality of communication.

State of mind and body language are interrelated and good news is that you can change your state of mind by changing your body language and vice versa.

For example, when you feel dull, you use to sit with bending posture and your voice may be low. When you stand up, stretch and take a long breath, you feel relaxed and your voice, the expression will be positive.

The point is that you can change your state of mind by changing your posture and vice versa, and this needs to be aware when you are communicating with others as a conscious effort.

Other aspects of effective communication let us discuss next week!
 

How to display respect to others?

Improving Communication in the workplace
 

Displaying Respect 

As discussed last week, preparing others for listening is the first step towards effective communication, and one of the processes is    " displaying respect to others".

How you can display respect to others?:

There are many ways you can show respect to another person; one of the powerful methods is “ Make another person feel good in your presence” through your gestures.

How you are treating another person will make him feel good about himself, and his listening ability improves when you interact with him.

My experience on the other person’s gesture and my self-esteem as happened some years back.

My colleague and I went to our HR manager to discuss some people-related issues. Before the meeting, we checked his availability. When we enter his room, he was busy on his laptop, and he did not ask us to sit. Despite that we sat for more than 10 minutes, he did not have the courtesy to ask us to wait by stating his urgent work. In between his typing, he instructed something to us regarding the people issues, and we were not in a position to listen, and after a while, we left. In this entire process, he never looked at us, and we felt bad about it.

As we understood his urgency, we expected that he could have requested us to wait for a few minutes, and once he finished the task in the laptop, he could have closed his laptop and had given undivided attention. Those small gestures might have made us feel good.

It is natural to neglect others due to urgent work, but it does not matter for the other person. It is essential how another person is feeling in your presence. It looks like common sense and soft aspect, but that makes much difference in other people’s mind. If you do not make another person “feeling good,” you are not preparing him/her ready for your subsequent communication.

If you are rude, always reacting and unappreciative, then people may not feel self-esteemed in your presence. When people are not feeling good enough in your presence, their listening ability also reduces.

Hence, first, make other person feeling good with you by giving respect through your gestures.

Just be aware of your gestures as we need to evolve as a good human being.

Other aspects of effective communication let us discuss next week!

Emotionally connecting with others.

As discussed, to make effective communication in a professional environment, three factors are essential viz, your subject expertise, emotionally connecting with a person, and logically connecting with facts.

Having discussed the need for developing your expertise, let us understand“emotionally connecting with the person.”
 What is meant by emotionally connecting with the person?

It is preparing yourself and another person to be in a comfortable zone before and during an interaction.

Unless both are in the same level of comfortable zone, there is a chance for misinterpretation of communication.
 
Some of the factors help to be in a comfortable zone.
 Displaying respect / making others feeling good
Your friendly body postures
Your undivided attention to others
Listening and prompting
Addressing the lingering question of what is in it for me
Feedback

Naturally, not all people are capable of deep listening while interacting since many emotions are being processed inside the minds like fear, curious, the anxiety of what next, etc.

When different emotions are being processed internally, listening capability is reduced, and misinterpretation happens. So, it is essential to make others prepared to be in a comfortable zone during interaction by using the above factors.

Even if you are expert in a subject and excellent in logic and not equally good in connecting with others, your communication will get failed. It would help if you learned the art of connecting with others with simple, robust processes in all factors.
 Let us discuss the techniques with simple examples in next week!
 

when will people listen to you?

Often I use to hear from people says,” My team is not doing what I am asking them to do."

This apprehension has a lot to do with our communication process than the other people's attitude and capability to execute.

Let us understand the process of effective communication.

People will listen to us only when our communication contains ALL  the below elements.

• Expertise in the subject or creditability proof 
• Connecting emotionally with the person
• Logically connecting with facts

 Let us discuss in detail each element.

Expertise in the subject or creditability proof :

Naturally, we give more importance to the person who is saying than what is being said. If others believe that you have expertise in the subject, then there is likely a chance for active listening and in turn, execution as per communication.

We need to make others believe that we are the right person to talk about the subject. 

For example, as an accounts manager, if you instruct your team about using accounting software, people are internally checking your expertise on the software. If they feel you do not have sufficient knowledge about software, their active listening will come down.

In most of the organization, it is a challenge for the newcomers to get the confidence of their team since the team has suspicions about the newcomer’s expertise. It is the prime responsibility of the newcomer to prove his /her technical/managerial expertise to win the confidence of the people.

People may respect you for your age or position. However, their mind is working on to gauge your expertise, and accordingly, the intend of communication is received.

Hence, you need to invest your time and effort in developing competence in your core area to improve communication effectiveness

Let us discuss other success factors next week!

Improving communication in the workplace ---Owning responsibility for EFFECTIVE communication

Effective communication is not what and how much you are communicating to others; it is how well your purpose of communication is met.
 
For example, you are instructing your colleague to complete a task in a specific manner. The communication would be referred to as effective communication only when your colleague also understands the intention of your communication and completes the task as per that instruction.
 
Owning responsibility for  EFFECTIVE communication

Our general tendency is that when the task is not completed as per our intended communication, we use to blame others for their misunderstanding or incapability.
 
The first step in improving your communication skill is to accept the responsibility for your communication process. It is not others misunderstand your communication. Still, you have not yet mastered the communication skill to modify your communication process depends upon the others. Since each one is different due to background and exposure, there is always a chance for misinterpretation.
 
How you are customizing your communication style to suit different people, and the environment is all about mastering the communication process.
 
For example, as business head, if you can communicate your organization goal to your second level management team and the operating team such a way that they understand in the same way and emotionally connect with the organization, then you are an effective communicator. It requires effort in mastering the communication process. That responsibility lies with you.
 
The point is that each one of us has more potential to improve the communication process, and first, we need to own the responsibility of effective communication than pointing others. When you own, you are open to learning and experiment on the communication process and techniques.
 
Let us discuss further on the communication process and techniques!

Improving communication at workplace

Most of the interpersonal problems in both personal and professional life are due to the lack of effective communication only. If you analyze any people-related issues in the workplace, one of the causes could be poor communication, either lack of expression or information or wrong interpretation by someone.
 
When you look at effective people, they possess excellent communication skill, and they are striving to improve the communication skill continuously. Communication skill development is a life long exercise, and no one claim that he/ she is the best communicator.
 
Irrespective of your level of communication effectiveness, with awareness and effort, communication skill can be improved over some time.
  
As most people think that communication skill is all about language proficiency.In my opinion, effective communication is the outcome of Effective emotional management + Clarity in thoughts + Mastering language
 
 
 
It is all about managing the emotions well and thinking and articulating well.
 
In coming weeks, let us discuss some of the insights in improving communication at the workplace on the following aspects
 
1.Owning responsibility for your communication
2.Managing your emotions and body language
3.Preparing others to your style of communication
4.Managing conflict and maintain the relationship
5.Moving from commanding to influence in the workplace
6. Setting the environment for better communication
 
Welcome your views, concerns, queries regarding communication in the workplace!
 

One Habit for a Lifetime

Habit is what you are doing consistently.

For all behind success story, there must be consistency in some of the actions. That is a habit. Even for our own sake of fulfillment, we need to have consistency in some of the practices what we do. The frequency is what you set depending on the action.
 
For example, I know some of my friends have the following “consistent practices or habits” as their life long practices.
 

• Walking for an hour daily for the last 30 years
• Being punctual to any event by being  present 10 min before the event
• Giving Blood donation once in 3 months for the last 20 years
• Calling the people on the birthday and wishes for more than 15 years
• Conducting weekly discourses for more than 20 years
• Waking up before 6 am and doing yoga for more than 40 years

 
When you observe your network, you may also come across many people with good lifetime habits.
 
When you have some good habits, as an individual, more than external monetary success, you feel proud of yourself, and also it enhances your confidence.

One habit for a lifetime, whatever it may be in terms of frequency, easiness, significant to others. However, sticking to one pattern for a lifetime is very much meaningful to you and make a difference to you.

The action is irrespective of your age, profession, choose some habit now, and practice it consistently.

or

if you are practicing some habits, please share as this will be an inspiration for others !!!

Risk of Generalisation

Sometimes, we make a conclusion based on one or two experiences, coin the generalized statements and use them frequently. Eventually, we start believing in those statements as true and approach life as per the generalized statement. In reality, when we question those statements, our perception change.

For example, some of us heard about the following statements in day to day life
 
I always have stage fear
My team never misses the target
Everyone is selfish in politics
Running a business always risky
All are busy on Monday morning.
 
When you look at those statements, all are generalized by us based on one or two experiences, and we start believing as such. In reality, those are not true.

For example, when you say, “ I always have stage fear,” you generalize  based on one or two times fear experience factor as “ ALWAYS.” In reality, many times you might have managed. However, when you communicate the statements frequently, you reinforce yourself as real, and you may not take an attempt to overcome.

Similarly, when you say “ EVERYONE is selfish in politics ” based on one or two experiences, but in reality, there are people with service intentions. However, when you generalize, you start to approach everyone as if they are selfish.

The point is there is no generalization in the world and everything subject to change with reference to time, place and people. Flexibility is required the way we approach the things for improving quality of life!

Focus on Process than People

In the workplace or even in a family environment, when the things are not happening as expected, or any problem occurs, the most immediate tendency of us is “fixing who is responsible?”. For any issues, finding the cause is a good thing, but the moment we focus our the cause on “People” factor, it likely turns out as blaming, complaining, justification, arguments and eventually into personal vengeance only.

As I observed with effective leaders, they focus more on fixing the “process factor” than the people. Once the problem occurred, they immediately recognize it, and their thought process moves towards fixing process as they believe that is a proactive approach. They believe that when the process is robust, ignorance, attitude related to people can be solved quickly. Sometimes fixing process may prevent the issue permanently as well as take care of human errors.

For example, some of the mistakes in organizing an event can be minimized when you have a checklist rather than depending solely on people. That is a proactive approach with process focussed.

Shifting the focus on fixing “process” than  “people” is possible with a little bit of awareness on our intention and behavior. For any problem solution lies in process, in turn, the process will take care of people factor also.

Just it needs awareness when we face the problem.

How are you perceived in the workplace?

In spite of your professional competency, how others are perceiving you in a workplace is an essential factor for your career growth. When you know the perception by others, it will be an eyeopener for you for both on strength and area for improvements.

Sometimes, you may not realize your strength since it is readily coming to you. Similarly, some of the weakness or area for improvements may not be known to you. Others are experiencing both, and they are forming a perception about you. When you know how others are perceiving you, that will give clarity to shape up your personality, which will propel your career growth.

How to know other's perception about you?

• Identify 3~5 people in your organization who are interacting with you more frequently. They could be your boss, your colleagues or your reportees. Some of you may be your wellwishers and observing you from distant
• Approach them with prior permission and tell your intention of knowing their opinions or perspective about you based on the association on the professional front.
• When they give their perspectives, avoid the tendency to defend or justify you
• Thank them for their feedback and consolidate the findings. If same or similar observations are pointed out by many, that could be your strength which you can leverage further or that could be your area for improvement which you can work on that.

The above method is powerful for personal development process you can try it out once in a year.!!

Why should Trust be Built?

Having discussed TRUST is an underlying thread in a relationship; let us understand why building trust is essential to lead others particularly in a professional environment.

Trust is evergreen required quality in a relationship, with the changing working environment now, it is utmost needed to develop the influencing capability.

What is the change in the working environment?

The work environment is rapidly changing. Earlier, people look up someone as their lead for knowledge, information, age, and experience they possess. Now with the abundance of information availability thanks to digital evolution and humungous opportunities across the world for survival and growth, people are no more looking up for someone for a reason stated above. Instead, people are now looking up someone as their lead for their wisdom, insights, mentoring or solution providing capabilities for the specific challenges.

To sum up, the workplace is changing from commanding to inspiring, in turn, positive influencing to get the things done.

For any onetime transaction or for short-term benefits, commanding or pushing may help to get the things done. If you are looking for long-term association, positively influence others to get things done and peaceful transaction between you and others, building trust is required.

You shall deserve yourself as a person to look up, only when you develop yourself and you are proven as “ TRUSTED “ by your colleagues or networks.

In the above context, trust building becomes important.

The question is on what areas, you need to develop trust and how to build trust among people. Let us discuss next week!
 

How do you look at your work?

Once three people were working on the bridge construction. The stranger approached the first person asked what he was doing.T he person said, “Can‘t you see I am laying stones.” The stranger quickly moved on to the second person and asked the same question.T he person replied: “I am working on my income so that I take care of myself and family.”

      The stranger moved on the third person and asked him what he was doing. The person replied with a smile “I am building a bridge, once the bridge construction is over, many people will pass on.I am helping others to move fast. This bridge will be here centuries after I am gone”    

       This is a well-known story, and the profound message is that how you are looking at your work with great purpose on it makes a difference in your quality of work and life. Irrespective of your profession, each one of us is doing our bit for the benefit of others as a whole. When we realize the purpose of our work in a big picture, the work will bring happiness and also the quality of work will be enhanced.
 
        Identify the purpose of your work!! 

Who is a winner when you quarrel?

There were a couple of lions lived in a forest.One day, both felt thirsty and reached the water pond.They immediately began to argue about who should satisfy their thirst first.The argument became quarrel and each took a stand to die in the quarrel rather than give up the privilege of being first to quench the thirst.

       They started attacking each other as their emotions turned into rage. Suddenly they stopped their attack and looked up at the sky as there was a flock of vultures circling the pond. Those vultures were eagerly waiting for the loser to die and it would become a feast for them for a week.

       On realizing the intention of the vultures, both lions stopped their quarrel and shared the water together to quench the thirst and walked away. The vultures disappointed.

Moral of the story:

When you quarrel each other as a couple for a silly reason, the loss would be family harmony only. Similarly even in the organization, when we spent energy on small things and argued for hours, the loser would be the organization, and the winner would be your competition.

Be aware of what for you are fighting and against whom you are fighting! 

How to become a best boss ever ?

Irrespective of any profession, each one will always admire someone as his best boss or inspiring mentor in his/ her life.As you recollect all the people under whom you have worked, finally, you conclude one or two people as your best bosses or inspiring role model.

What could be the significant factors to admire someone as best boss or role model?

You may list down a lot of attributes of role model or inspiring boss like charisma, functional competency, managerial competency and so on.However, research shows that among so many attributes, only a  few attributes  contribute to conclude someone as inspiring boss or role model 

Those attributes could be the person who had given you a lot of opportunities to learn more or the person who brought out your hidden potential or who made you believe or make you do something extraordinary which you ever thought as impossible.

Since now you are managing a team of people under you, answer yourself for how many people you are the best boss by demonstrating those attributes.

It is a moral responsibility of every manager and leaders to bring out the potential of others!!

Why consistency is important in workplace ?

In most of the organizations, we can hear one common phrase “we have implemented it, but not continued and this will not work here”
Why do people come to conclusion as “no initiative will work in their workplace?". The reason is lack of consistency in implementation. 

In today’s internet world, there is not much ignorance of knowledge and know-how; it is only lack of consistency in implementation.

How this inconsistency will affect individual & Team?

When you implement some initiatives, not consistently follow it and eventually drop it, you are giving a subconscious message to yourself and team that you are not sensitive to results or incapable of execution. This inconsistency will impact the confidence of the leader at an individual level and encourage mediocre performance at the team level. The next time when you think of new initiative, old memory reinforces you about failure or low confidence pulls you down from taking action. The root cause for all consequence is inconsistency in implementation.

 So, in personal and professional level, if you take any initiative, be sure that you are consistent in your implementation even though you are relatively slow in taking a decision. Ultimately your consistent actions push up your confidence and your consistent actions inspire others to follow. This is one of the traits of leadership, i.e. consistency in thinking; talking and doing.You are meant to be a leader for others!!!!

What to do when others hurt you?

You might have come across a situation someone had hurt you by their words or action  either by family members or by your colleagues or business partners .As a chain reaction, you would be thinking of the person or event for a longer duration say days, weeks ,even for years !!.Internally you would be feeling of resentment or bitterness about the person or event.

How this feeling of resentment affects you?

It affects your physical health and also your mental strength, in turn affects your quality of your work.

How to handle this feeling of resentment?

Only by way of forgiving. We had learnt the different definition of forgiveness from our education, ancestors, spiritual masters and some of us  think that forgiving mindset is beyond human capacity. Actually, forgiveness is not about forgetting the event or person which is practically difficult, but it is the ability to look at the person or event in a different perspective 

What are the different perspectives?

oThe other person hurt us with his words or action; because the person comes from different background and experience.He behaves with others too. Hence it is not your issue. This will calm you down to some extent
oHow do you behave in such a situation? This will help you to understand others
oLook at event’s or person‘s behavior with reference to a time frame, say after a year or 5 years from now. You may feel not to worth to worry too much.
o Life is too short and it is not worth to trade your peace of mind with that incident and move forward.

The above perspective will give strength to forgive the person or event. Ultimately your quality of life is important and how you choose the response makes a difference!!!!