How to display respect to others?

Improving Communication in the workplace
 

Displaying Respect 

As discussed last week, preparing others for listening is the first step towards effective communication, and one of the processes is    " displaying respect to others".

How you can display respect to others?:

There are many ways you can show respect to another person; one of the powerful methods is “ Make another person feel good in your presence” through your gestures.

How you are treating another person will make him feel good about himself, and his listening ability improves when you interact with him.

My experience on the other person’s gesture and my self-esteem as happened some years back.

My colleague and I went to our HR manager to discuss some people-related issues. Before the meeting, we checked his availability. When we enter his room, he was busy on his laptop, and he did not ask us to sit. Despite that we sat for more than 10 minutes, he did not have the courtesy to ask us to wait by stating his urgent work. In between his typing, he instructed something to us regarding the people issues, and we were not in a position to listen, and after a while, we left. In this entire process, he never looked at us, and we felt bad about it.

As we understood his urgency, we expected that he could have requested us to wait for a few minutes, and once he finished the task in the laptop, he could have closed his laptop and had given undivided attention. Those small gestures might have made us feel good.

It is natural to neglect others due to urgent work, but it does not matter for the other person. It is essential how another person is feeling in your presence. It looks like common sense and soft aspect, but that makes much difference in other people’s mind. If you do not make another person “feeling good,” you are not preparing him/her ready for your subsequent communication.

If you are rude, always reacting and unappreciative, then people may not feel self-esteemed in your presence. When people are not feeling good enough in your presence, their listening ability also reduces.

Hence, first, make other person feeling good with you by giving respect through your gestures.

Just be aware of your gestures as we need to evolve as a good human being.

Other aspects of effective communication let us discuss next week!

Emotionally connecting with others.

As discussed, to make effective communication in a professional environment, three factors are essential viz, your subject expertise, emotionally connecting with a person, and logically connecting with facts.

Having discussed the need for developing your expertise, let us understand“emotionally connecting with the person.”
 What is meant by emotionally connecting with the person?

It is preparing yourself and another person to be in a comfortable zone before and during an interaction.

Unless both are in the same level of comfortable zone, there is a chance for misinterpretation of communication.
 
Some of the factors help to be in a comfortable zone.
 Displaying respect / making others feeling good
Your friendly body postures
Your undivided attention to others
Listening and prompting
Addressing the lingering question of what is in it for me
Feedback

Naturally, not all people are capable of deep listening while interacting since many emotions are being processed inside the minds like fear, curious, the anxiety of what next, etc.

When different emotions are being processed internally, listening capability is reduced, and misinterpretation happens. So, it is essential to make others prepared to be in a comfortable zone during interaction by using the above factors.

Even if you are expert in a subject and excellent in logic and not equally good in connecting with others, your communication will get failed. It would help if you learned the art of connecting with others with simple, robust processes in all factors.
 Let us discuss the techniques with simple examples in next week!
 

when will people listen to you?

Often I use to hear from people says,” My team is not doing what I am asking them to do."

This apprehension has a lot to do with our communication process than the other people's attitude and capability to execute.

Let us understand the process of effective communication.

People will listen to us only when our communication contains ALL  the below elements.

• Expertise in the subject or creditability proof 
• Connecting emotionally with the person
• Logically connecting with facts

 Let us discuss in detail each element.

Expertise in the subject or creditability proof :

Naturally, we give more importance to the person who is saying than what is being said. If others believe that you have expertise in the subject, then there is likely a chance for active listening and in turn, execution as per communication.

We need to make others believe that we are the right person to talk about the subject. 

For example, as an accounts manager, if you instruct your team about using accounting software, people are internally checking your expertise on the software. If they feel you do not have sufficient knowledge about software, their active listening will come down.

In most of the organization, it is a challenge for the newcomers to get the confidence of their team since the team has suspicions about the newcomer’s expertise. It is the prime responsibility of the newcomer to prove his /her technical/managerial expertise to win the confidence of the people.

People may respect you for your age or position. However, their mind is working on to gauge your expertise, and accordingly, the intend of communication is received.

Hence, you need to invest your time and effort in developing competence in your core area to improve communication effectiveness

Let us discuss other success factors next week!

Improving communication in the workplace ---Owning responsibility for EFFECTIVE communication

Effective communication is not what and how much you are communicating to others; it is how well your purpose of communication is met.
 
For example, you are instructing your colleague to complete a task in a specific manner. The communication would be referred to as effective communication only when your colleague also understands the intention of your communication and completes the task as per that instruction.
 
Owning responsibility for  EFFECTIVE communication

Our general tendency is that when the task is not completed as per our intended communication, we use to blame others for their misunderstanding or incapability.
 
The first step in improving your communication skill is to accept the responsibility for your communication process. It is not others misunderstand your communication. Still, you have not yet mastered the communication skill to modify your communication process depends upon the others. Since each one is different due to background and exposure, there is always a chance for misinterpretation.
 
How you are customizing your communication style to suit different people, and the environment is all about mastering the communication process.
 
For example, as business head, if you can communicate your organization goal to your second level management team and the operating team such a way that they understand in the same way and emotionally connect with the organization, then you are an effective communicator. It requires effort in mastering the communication process. That responsibility lies with you.
 
The point is that each one of us has more potential to improve the communication process, and first, we need to own the responsibility of effective communication than pointing others. When you own, you are open to learning and experiment on the communication process and techniques.
 
Let us discuss further on the communication process and techniques!

Improving communication at workplace

Most of the interpersonal problems in both personal and professional life are due to the lack of effective communication only. If you analyze any people-related issues in the workplace, one of the causes could be poor communication, either lack of expression or information or wrong interpretation by someone.
 
When you look at effective people, they possess excellent communication skill, and they are striving to improve the communication skill continuously. Communication skill development is a life long exercise, and no one claim that he/ she is the best communicator.
 
Irrespective of your level of communication effectiveness, with awareness and effort, communication skill can be improved over some time.
  
As most people think that communication skill is all about language proficiency.In my opinion, effective communication is the outcome of Effective emotional management + Clarity in thoughts + Mastering language
 
 
 
It is all about managing the emotions well and thinking and articulating well.
 
In coming weeks, let us discuss some of the insights in improving communication at the workplace on the following aspects
 
1.Owning responsibility for your communication
2.Managing your emotions and body language
3.Preparing others to your style of communication
4.Managing conflict and maintain the relationship
5.Moving from commanding to influence in the workplace
6. Setting the environment for better communication
 
Welcome your views, concerns, queries regarding communication in the workplace!
 

Finding Balance

Both in personal and professional life, one of the causes of stress or losing peace is due to taking an extreme stand or bias in a given context. When we fail to be in balance state, we invite all the troubles. Being in a balanced state is the outcome of self-awareness. Effective people will always find a balance in their approach.
 
For example,

Being too much aggressive or too much passive in communication only leads to stress or ineffective. A balanced state is being in an assertive, firm and friendly tone which improves harmony as well as the effectiveness of communication as end result.
 
Being too much lenient with new employees and being too much harsh with on old employees only leads to instability in the organization. Balanced state is respecting both with compassion.
 
 Being too much on planning or too much busy on execution without calibration leads to either no result or poor result only. Balanced state starts with planning and get into execution and do the course correction.
 
 Being too much on micromanaging other’s work or fully leaving it to others also leads to stress only. Balanced state is to allow others to do the work with feedback for improvement.

The point is finding balance in your approach leads to harmony and peace than being extremism.It requires awareness on the state of mind which is possible with practice.
 

Pursuing interest beyond work

As we are spending almost half of our life for work, obviously we expect a sense of fulfillment through our work. There are a few people gifted enough as they get all the status, benefits, and above all, sense of accomplishment due to the contribution or impact they make through the work. In reality, not all people get satisfaction through the job for various reasons, but due to personal commitments, they need to continue to work. Eventually, this non-fulfillment state affects self-identity and confidence.

To overcome that situation, as a proactive, it is essential to find and do something beyond your daywork that fulfills your inner feeling. For example, some of my known contacts and friends are engaged in activities that are not related to their current profession. When interacting with them, I realized they are  feeling more fulfillment in their extra activities beyond work like

One person engages himself in reading books after his office hours and weekends
One medical practitioner engage himself in conducting free medical camps / educating people on health on every Wednesday
One person is preparing himself for marathon participation
One person opens up his library after office hour for public and for mentoring the needy people  

The point is that you need to find a way to get a sense of fulfillment when the work circumstance does not provide. The only thing you should ensure is that the path must be more meaningful to you, and it should not affect your regular work, family, the community at large. The choice of feeling fulfillment is with you only!

Cultivating Calmness in tough times

Recently met a CEO after a long time with whom I worked earlier. He was happily sharing his recent accomplishment in his business, and I was listening to him. Inside my mind, I was lingering with a question which I wanted to get the answer from him that moment itself.i was waiting for him to complete.
 
The reason for the internal disturbance in me was some years back, he was undergoing tremendous trouble in personal life, financial aspects, and his business as well. I worried about his state then. During those tough times, I never had seen him losing his coolness, smiling face, or showing his frustration to anyone and also noticed that he never gave up his efforts both in business and personal life.
 
After he completed his expression, I asked him how he managed through the tough times and his mindset during those times. His reply was inspirational and taught the spiritualism in life.
 
“When everything goes against me at the same time, it means something is working beyond my control. Then why should work against it? Let me accept reality and do my part.

I believe that good and bad times will never last forever. I had enjoyed good times and let me go through this tough time as well.

God is testing my resilence, and if pass, I will get a reward more than now.”
 
In my opinion, this mindset is the highest level of maturity in dealing with life challenges, and cultivating calmness will take us to the next level of evolution.!!

Hope you agree on this learning......

One Habit for a Lifetime

Habit is what you are doing consistently.

For all behind success story, there must be consistency in some of the actions. That is a habit. Even for our own sake of fulfillment, we need to have consistency in some of the practices what we do. The frequency is what you set depending on the action.
 
For example, I know some of my friends have the following “consistent practices or habits” as their life long practices.
 

• Walking for an hour daily for the last 30 years
• Being punctual to any event by being  present 10 min before the event
• Giving Blood donation once in 3 months for the last 20 years
• Calling the people on the birthday and wishes for more than 15 years
• Conducting weekly discourses for more than 20 years
• Waking up before 6 am and doing yoga for more than 40 years

 
When you observe your network, you may also come across many people with good lifetime habits.
 
When you have some good habits, as an individual, more than external monetary success, you feel proud of yourself, and also it enhances your confidence.

One habit for a lifetime, whatever it may be in terms of frequency, easiness, significant to others. However, sticking to one pattern for a lifetime is very much meaningful to you and make a difference to you.

The action is irrespective of your age, profession, choose some habit now, and practice it consistently.

or

if you are practicing some habits, please share as this will be an inspiration for others !!!

Risk of Generalisation

Sometimes, we make a conclusion based on one or two experiences, coin the generalized statements and use them frequently. Eventually, we start believing in those statements as true and approach life as per the generalized statement. In reality, when we question those statements, our perception change.

For example, some of us heard about the following statements in day to day life
 
I always have stage fear
My team never misses the target
Everyone is selfish in politics
Running a business always risky
All are busy on Monday morning.
 
When you look at those statements, all are generalized by us based on one or two experiences, and we start believing as such. In reality, those are not true.

For example, when you say, “ I always have stage fear,” you generalize  based on one or two times fear experience factor as “ ALWAYS.” In reality, many times you might have managed. However, when you communicate the statements frequently, you reinforce yourself as real, and you may not take an attempt to overcome.

Similarly, when you say “ EVERYONE is selfish in politics ” based on one or two experiences, but in reality, there are people with service intentions. However, when you generalize, you start to approach everyone as if they are selfish.

The point is there is no generalization in the world and everything subject to change with reference to time, place and people. Flexibility is required the way we approach the things for improving quality of life!