Managing Expectation -Part 3

      As discussed last week, as most of us struggling to manage the expectation and in this process, we get into disappointment, frustration, personal vengeance or stress.

       We discuss this aspect into insights and solutions approach. Before getting into solution approach, let us understand some of the truth or  insights about the expectation management.

Insight 1:

        In personal life, expectation arises between you and yourself, expectation arises between you and your parents / brothers, expectation arises between husband and wife, expectation arises between parents and child, expectation arises between teacher and students and so on.

        In a professional environment, expectation arises between you and your boss, expectation arises between you  and your team, expectation arises between peers and so on.

        In a business environment, expectation arises between supplier and customer, expectation between client and service provider, expectation arises between business and society and so on.

        Likewise, expectation arises between one element and another. In all the above examples, what does exist in common? In all the examples, there exists "RELATIONSHIP". Expectation arises only when there is a RELATIONSHIP. Alternatively, we can say when there is a relationship; there must be expectation in the relationship. .

        Generally, we are not expecting much about someone who does not have much relationship with us. We expect something only someone is associated with our life through some relationships. Hence, when there is a relationship, there must be some expectation. If we internalize this fact or insight, this would  bring a new dimension to solve the managing the expectation problem.

        The next insight would be when there is a relationship, why someone  is expecting from us .Let us discuss the insight next week

Managing Expectation -part 2

         As outlined last week, in personal and professional life, most of us are struggling to manage the expectation as we have limited time and  resources.

When there is a gap between the expectation and reality, it becomes problematic. This  problem may result in disappointment, angry, self deprivation, frustration  or  in modern management terminology  STRESS.

For example, at a personal level, you may  like to give up some bad habits  and in reality, if you are not able to give up, that makes  you disappointment, that shakes your self confidence or you start to hate yourself. How to manage about yourself  during such circumstances?

Similarly, in professional front, you may  expect  high performance levels  from your team and the team is not up to your expectation, you get into disappointment, frustration or personal level vengeance   with some team members. Eventually it starts spoiling  the quality of  relationship with the team. How to manage the expectation from others? In the reverse situation, your boss is expecting more from you and if you are up to his expectation, the same level of stress your boss may be undergoing  as you are going through!!!..How to manage the expectation of others for you??

Similarly, even in family front, you may expect  something  from your spouse, children and the reality may be  different. You get into disappointment and sometimes the disappointments turn into  anguish  and   verbal battle situations. How to manage those expectations  in a domestic environment?

The point for realization is that there is no guarantee that reality will always be same as you are expecting. What we need to learn is how to cope or manage the gap  between the expectation and reality.

We discuss some of the insights about expectation  management next week!

Managing Expectation

          Thanks  for the positive response to  our survey on weekly insight  initiative and we had received   a lot of suggestions to improve the learning experience. One of the suggestions was that instead of discussing random topics every week, take one topic and discuss  it from 360 perspectives. We also realized, this suggestion  would improve the depth of understanding on a particular topic and now we have chosen “ Managing expectation “ as one topic and next few weeks, we will be discussing all aspects  of management in depth. Your views or comments are solicited.

         In personal and professional life, most of us  are struggling to manage the  expectation as we have limited time and resources. On the personal front, there is a need to manage the expectation from  SELF as well as from  family members. In the professional front,there is a need to manage the expectation  from bosses, subordinates, peers and in business environment, there is a need to manage the expectation from  customers and other stakeholders.

         When we are not able to manage  the expectation well, it creates a lot of pressure within us.To manage the expectation, we need to understand some of the insights and discuss the solutions approach.

Let us discuss the following aspects in the coming weeks

1. Misunderstanding about the expectation management

2. Some of the  insights about expectation

3. A paradigm shift in approaching the problem

4. Solutions approach to manage the expectation

Mastering the art of managing expectation leads to high performance, extraordinary human being and above all makes you stress free. (Which is good for you and others!!!) and let us strive for it.!!

Evaluate your 2015

“Dates that come around every year help us measure progress in our lives. One annual event, New Year's Day, is a time of reflection and resolution.”—Joseph Wirthlin

    Even though the transformation in personal and business life happens through  the changes WITHIN, irrespective of change in calendar years, now, this is the opportune time to plan for change. Instead of merely planning with wishes, it would be effective to look back , learn from the past and set the direction for the future.

    Hence evaluate your 2015 in all aspects of life with the right questions. This may help to reinforce the good things you did, correct the bad things you did in 2015.Answering to the following questions may l help you to set  the direction right on career / business / relationship / financial aspects.

Which initiatives worked well in business  / professional career  and which was not?

What  motivated me last year and what drained  my motivation level?

What factors improved  / affected the quality of relationship  with family members / peers/ subordinates / clients?

Which factors improved my personal financial success and what not? 

What made me proud of  my contributions to others?

Reflection is more powerful than any other form of learnings. Reflect on 2015 and move forward for great 2016 as each one of us in this earth are deserved for continuous growth..

Wishing you and your family & Business  to achieve new growth, peace, happy new year 2016!

Managing Time

“Priority management is the answer to maximizing our time “–John c Maxwell

       For most of us, pressing need is how to manage time. Even though there are best seller book and training session on time management with many formats, techniques, they help to some extend on awareness creation only. Those external driven factors may not be much more effective as  time management is more of  “Internal driven”. It is not managing time, it is about managing your temptation and emotions.

      For instance, If someone offers you a choice to get one cheque with  valued Rs 1000 and another Rs 2000. Obviously, most of us choose Rs 2000 cheque. In case, if  it comes with a choice that Rs 1000 could be cashed tomorrow and Rs 2000 could be cashed after a year, would your decision remain same? Most of us in a real experiment  would decide to take Rs 1000, despite the fact that the second option is a rationally better choice.

      This example demonstrates the temptation kicks in when immediate benefit is present, we tend to take irrational decision.Our ability to take good decision disappears when we see, short term benefits.The same is applicable when we prioritize our IMPORTANT and URGENT work. We know very clearly what is important for us in terms of growth  and strive for doing important things.When short term, immediate benefits come across our way like emails, meeting, phone calls, entertainments, we become sensitive to urgent and lose the focus on Important aspects.The attraction of small, short term pleasure outweighs the big, long term, hard activities.

       When we learn to manage those temptations or emotion, we become master of time management. Be aware of your emotions!

Adversity

“Every adversity, every failure carries with it the seeds of an equal or greater benefits”-Napoleon Hill

         Adversity or difficult times happen in our life at any moment. The difficult moments can be losing job suddenly, losing dear ones, losing all earned money etc. Those moments make our life upside down and literally we may not have clue what would happen next. As it is beyond our control, we can not avoid and only option is to undergo the experience.

          Actually, those tough times only teach us a lot of valuable lesson about life. It brings loved one closer to us than ever before. It brings us a lot of time to introspect our past mistakes, which leads to difficult times. It makes us to think to handle the future different way .It brings out our real divine power within us and rise up as stronger than ever.


           Let us look back your life; you might have come across so many difficult times in different point of time. Despite all those ,today you are .This is due to the powerful learning’s , courage, will power, divine energy you got from those tough times. Similarly, you look around any nation, which had undergone many tough times in the past and today it stands tall because adversity makes them stronger than before.

          Hence, adversity need to be looked at as part of life, that also will pass over a period of time .Real happiness is not in good times and it is on how we manage tough times and come up .Great time ahead after every adversity. That is the Law of Nature!

Encouragement

“Our duty is to encourage everyone in his struggle to live up to his own highest idea”.--Swami Vivekananda

       The following true incident happened several years ago in Paris Opera House.  A famous singer had been contracted to sing and all the arrangements were made  and the all tickets were sold out.During the event day, before starting the program, there were  feeling of anticipation and excitement among the fans. 

       The Event manager took the stage and said “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid that due to illness, the man whom we have booked will not be performing tonight. However, we have found a suitable substitute and we hope  he will provide you a comparable entertainment experience”. The crowd shouted in disappointment and failed to hear the name of the person which was announced by the event manager. The total environment turned from excitement to frustration..

      The new  performer gave the performance everything he had. When he had finished, there was no reaction from the audience except silence. No one  applauded and the performer about to step down from the stage. Suddenly, a little boy stood up and shouted, “Daddy, I think you have done a wonderful job, Love you so much”’. The crowd broke into thunderous applause and cheering.

   We all need people in our lives who are willing to stand up for us , once in a while and say “ I think you have done wonderful Job”. That makes a big difference!!!

Begin with Certainty

“Ninety percent of selling is conviction and 10 percent is persuasion.”--Shiv Khera

        One of the key point lesson in sales training is that sales person must approach the prospects with  belief that  prospects turns out into sales .That is "begin with certainty". This is applicable to all aspects of your life.

       When you start a new venture, even though you know that it is going to be risky, start with certainty as this will give mindset to move confidently. In case if you  start with skepticism, that makes you weak and your efforts would be half hearted. Any obstacles during the venture makes you more vulnerable.

      Similarly, in organizational setup, if the leader is not convinced about any new initiatives or new targets and starts with uncertainty mindset, he signals the same through his energy, enthusiasm and communication to his team. More than his verbal, his body language triggers low motivations to his team.

      Even when you begin with certainty, there may be obstacles you may face, at least this mindset will enable you to think alternative solutions,otherwise you are vulnerable for any minor setbacks during the journey..

Hence begin with certainty as this will  provide more energy  to resolve any challenges during the journey!!

Enhance your Perspectives

“Miracles happen everyday, change your perception of what a miracle is and you will see them all around you.”-Jon Bon

     We form opinions about life based  through our family, friends, working environment and the place where we are living. Eventually we form some beliefs and that  beliefs are  guiding our behavior and actions. Unless we enhance our perspectives about  life, our quality of life may not improve significantly.

     Enhancing perspective means to increase our ability to look at the things from different angles or view points and ability to differentiate which is good or right.

      For example, we may form the opinion that our children  as “Average” based on their  academic performance. But we might have missed to notice their other positive qualities such as good in sports, interpersonal skills, taking things cool and problem solving capability  and so on. Unless we are open, observe, listen and keen to enhance our perspective about the child, we continue to have fixed mindset as “Average” and lead our relationship with that quality.Similarly, we have some  fixed mindsets  in our capabilities, potential, career  growth, health, wealth, business development opportunities etc.. 

    The point is  that be open, flexible, keen to change your perception and accept new  information. This  attitude will enhance your  ability  to look the things  in different way in turn will improve the quality of life. 

What do you focus Success or Growth

“Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvements, achievements and success have no meaning”.—Benjamin Franklin

We may come across people who is perceived as “Successful“ either in terms of positional status, wealth accumulation or any other measurement by society, may not be so happy internally or  feeling fulfilled. One of the reasons could be  the success does not lead to happiness or fulfillment if there is a lack of growth.

To  get clarity on this, we need to understand the difference between success and growth.

Success is just a milestone and not necessarily end of life journey. Success may be too personal and it may not be impacting others. When a particular success is achieved, you may feel happy temporarily  and again start craving for something to just feed your own ego.

Whereas Growth is  a continuous or progressive journey, during the progression, it is impacting others as well in  a positive way. when you are continuously growing  and others are also benefiting along with your journey, you feel fulfilled.

For example, achieving or attaining the  promotion in your profession may be a success. Once attained, through the new role, if you are not making an impact  or contributing others, you are not growing and growth is stagnant. If there is no further progress, the success may not give you fulfillment and it becomes burden.

To summarize, if you focus more on achieving success  and it does not make  impact to others, that success may not bring fulfillment. If you focus more on achieving success after success with more impact to others, you are on a growth path  and the journey will give  a sense of fulfillment. What you focus makes a difference to your life!!